Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve To Do List

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

It’s Christmas Eve, do you have your “to do” list?

Finish shopping
Wrap presents
Bake cookies
Cook for Christmas
Stuff stockings
Watch holiday movies
Drink eggnog
Put the kiddies to bed …

then Mr. Claus, too!

Here’s to a little Christmas fun. Ho, Ho, Ho.

Have a safe and Merry Christmas.

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Christmas Kisses

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. There’s one week until Christmas, do you have some of this…

More Kisses Mistletoe

Ho, Ho, Ho.

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, December 12, 2008

Where Did My Baby Go?

The conversation during the car ride to school this morning went something like this:

“Mama, I don’t want to wear Spider-man on my underwear anymore.”

That would be my 7-year-old, Miles, informing me of his new choice in undergarments.


That would be me, surprised that Mr. Spider-man himself is ready to give up his webbed drawers.

“You don’t?”

“Nope. No more Spider-man or Transformers.”

“Well what do you want to wear?”


A long pause and a few deep breaths.

“OK, but why don’t you want to wear Spider-man anymore?

He thought about how to break it to me gently then said…

“I’m growing up, Mama.”


Where did my baby go? And, what’s next? At least he still kissed me goodbye before he hopped out the car.

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

How Do You Get Started?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House. The one day a week I dish about sex.

What’s your favorite form of foreplay? No, you don’t have to tell me, but you do have to tell your husband. Is it a kiss on the back of your neck; or watching a naughty flick; or maybe it’s when he takes over with the kids so that you can get a break.

Foreplay for women often starts way before we get into the bedroom. Our mood can be kindled or killed simply by the way we interact throughout the day. You might realize that lack of appreciation sucks the sex drive right out of you, but does he? My bet is he doesn’t, ‘cause if he knew a little acknowledgement is foreplay for you – and that he just might get some if he starts saying please and thank you – you would hear those magic words more often.

I’m being a little factious to illustrate my point: let your husband know what turns you on. Don’t assume that he knows. Take the time to tell him that you think it’s hot when he comes home, rescues you from the daily drama and puts the kids to bed. Show him that you love it by putting him to bed when he’s done. Always make sure to respond when he does something that you like so he knows it’s working – and so that he’ll do it again!

Foreplay is an important part of sex. If foreplay doesn’t happen, chances are sex won’t either.

So, what’s your favorite form of foreplay? Husbands everywhere want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, December 8, 2008

Wifey Talks the Talk...

The good folks at Psychjourney were kind enough to invite me over to talk about my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage.

We had a great time dishing about living together, communication, sex, in-laws and much more. To hear the podcast, please visit Psychjourney Podcast Blog or Lasting Love and Marriage Blog.

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, December 5, 2008

Three Reasons to Drop Your Fork and Back Away from the Chocolate Cake

As a chocolate connoisseur it pains me to say it, but it’s time to end my everyday love affair with foods that aren’t treating me right. I’ve shared many stories about losing weight and exercise, but haven’t always focused on food. Yes, I’m guilty, there’s a big part of me that wishes if I exercise extra hard – a full hour instead of 45 minutes – that I could eat whatever I want and it won’t find a home on my hips or thighs. Even though I know better I’ve still lived in denial, until now.

At 37 years-old my body just doesn’t humor me like it used to. At 21, I could put away a Big Mac, large fries and finish it off with a half bag of Oreo cookies and still fit into my skinny jeans the next day. Now, if I even look at one of my kids’ fries I feel the button on my jeans pop open.

I’ve decided to change my eating habits by eating foods that are good to my body - that provide energy, nutrients and will make me healthy - and to limit the foods that don’t do anything but weigh me down – literally.

There are three things that keep me focused when I suffer from chocolate withdrawal and am in danger of wavering from my plan.

My Health
I know, duh, right? Everyone knows that eating foods that are good for you – lean protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains – improves your health, while foods with no nutritional value – candies, processed and fatty foods – harm it. So why are so many people still choosing the latter? It’s proven that so much of the crap we eat is killing us – literally – but we just keep shoveling it in anyway. Ignorance is bliss… and extremely harmful. I’ve decided to listen to the facts, which leads me to my next point.

The sh*t works! Quickly. Eating foods that are meant to provide your body with the nutrients and energy that it needs makes your body run more efficiently. I feel better, have more energy, I’m sleeping better, my skin looks healthier, I feel sexier, ahem, I’m more confident, and yes, the fat is MELTING off of me. Need I say more?

My Kids

Every time I look at their happy little faces I think about how much I want to be there to see them grow up, about the example that I’m setting for them, and how much responsibility that holds. Like it or not, I’m the most important role model in my children’s lives. How will they learn to take care of themselves if they don’t see me doing it?

So, I’m dropping my fork and slowly backing away from the chocolate cake. Sure, I’ll still rendezvous with it at a holiday party and I’ll take care of Santa’s cookies for him on Christmas Eve, but for the majority of the time my darling chocolate is going to have to survive without me.

How about you? Are you willing to break up with some of your unhealthy loves? Health conscious minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Five Sexy Gifts to Spice Up Your Wish List

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Christmas is three weeks away. Does your wish list need a little help?

Dear Santa,

Please bring me some new sweaters, DVDs, a fruitcake, and oh yeah, the OhMiBod IPod compatible music powered vibrator.


Here are five gift ideas to spice up your wish list – and your sex life, too!


OhMiBod, $69.00


Kama Sutra Bedside Box, 44.99


Diamante Halter Babydoll, Victoria's Secret, $38


Pole La Teaz , Pole and Sensual Dance Gift Certificates


Real Sex For Real Women: Intimacy, Pleasure & Sexual Wellbeing, by Dr. Laura Berman, $25

Have you written your wish list yet? Mr. Claus is waiting...

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Doubling Up

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I posted about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment." This week I find it only fitting to provide you with a link to hear the reverend’s conclusion about the seven day sex challenge he gave to married couples in his congregation.

In the video he suggests that people continue to nurture their sex lives outside of the seven day challenge by doubling up on their regular routine. If you have sex once a week, make it twice. If you’re already getting it on twice a week strive for four. Double whatever the number is and go from there.

The point of doubling up is not to play the numbers game – who cares how many times you do it if you’re not having any fun – but to make a conscious effort to improve the quality of your sex life, not just the quantity.

So, this week when you try doubling up, ahem, don’t only focus on the number of times you have sex, but on making it a more exciting and desirable experience for you and your spouse. Who knows, next week you might think three times is a charm...

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sexperiment for MARRIED Couples – Warning Requires Sex - Gasp!

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In case you missed it, here’s a clip from CBS News about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment.”

It reminds me of a shortened and more obtainable version of this.

Over the past week I’ve seen several interviews and media coverage that has either praised him for suggesting such a thing or has condemned him for suggesting such a thing. Gasp! It’s amazing the controversy that sex can stir – especially sex encouraged to strengthen MARRIED couples’ relationships. I did hear him correctly; he is only talking to MARRIED couples, right?

Thoughts? Opinions? Participants? Inquiring and MARRIED minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, November 14, 2008

Therapy Needed for FTWS (Fabulous Trip Withdrawal Syndrome)

Friday’s confession…

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating, shaking and mumbling something to the effect of “No, Suite 1564 is MINE!”

Yes, I’m going through post fabulous trip withdrawals. Damn.

The two weeks I spent sailing around the Mediterranean were, um, how can I describe them? Oh, I know, blissful. Absolute pure bliss. I love my family, and my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, ahem, but I can admit that I thoroughly enjoyed not having to do anything for anybody at anytime during my adventure.

In fact it was quite the opposite, gasp! Everything – and I mean EVERYTHING – was taken care of for me. All I had to do was just be there and enjoy the moment. No cooking, no cleaning, no washing dishes, no laundry, no picking up after anybody, no listening to whining, no getting anybody ready for school, no washing windows – oh, I don’t do that anyway – no checking in the hotel, no planning which tour of which city to take, no worrying about how I will get where I’m supposed to be, everything was planned for and taken care of by somebody else. I did have to decide which new outfit I was going to wear each day and whether I wanted white or red wine with dinner but somehow I struggled through it.

So, forgive me as I imagine myself still lounging in my suite on the beautiful Brilliance of the Seas while the concierge and stateroom attendant do everything that I don’t want to do.

The infamous suite 1564.

The bathroom was luxurious.

A toliet and bidet.

Jacuzzi tub.

The beds, shot from the lounge area complete with a cozy couch/full size pullout bed.

Nobody makes cute little animals out my washcloths at home.

Our private deck.

Wanda and Wifey prepared for anything!

Our "king of the world" moment, sitting on top of the ship as we pull into Venice.

Ah, Venice.

The view from our deck at the end of the day.

See why I’m struggling? Alright, it’s back to the real world. My house needs cleaning and for some strange reason my family likes it when I go to the grocery store and buy food. There’s no concierge or stateroom attendant at Wifey’s House to take care of these things for me.

Oh, damn. I am the concierge and stateroom attendant at Wifey’s House. And you wonder why I’m going through withdrawals…

Winks & Smiles,

Thursday, November 13, 2008

She’s So Resourceful

Milan wanted to ride her bike but couldn’t find her helmet…

Yes, that’s her softball batting helmet on her head.

Nothing’s going to stop this girl.

Later, when she was done playing with her princess babies I told her to put them away…

Five hours later I found them in captivity. Yes, that’s the dog’s crate.

Poor baby Cinderella and Jasmine.

That’s not quite what I had in mind, but you gotta love it. She's so resourceful...

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dress Up to Undress

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In previous posts I’ve talked about looking your best – working out, taking the time to get dressed, ahem, and ditching the bedtime T-shirt and sweatpants. This week I’m encouraging you to freshen up your nighties – but not to sleep in. Gasp!

Yes, I’m talking about lingerie. Technically considered intimate/sleepwear apparel but not necessarily meant for sleeping. When is the last time you took an audit of your teddies and tried them on for your hubby? If you can’t remember I suggest you go straight to your bedroom and take a peek to see what you might be missing.

While lingerie is not for everyone, many men and women find it sexy and empowering. Sometimes slipping into something designed to enhance your sexiness is like unleashing an alter ego allowing you to feel more free and sensuous – or just plain naughty. Gasp!

Whether it’s thongs and thigh-hi’s or babydoll’s and chemises; there’s lingerie out there to fit all different tastes, shapes and sizes. This week take some time to discover what you – and your husband – like and get dressed up … to undress.

Winks & Smiles,

Here’s a few links to get you started. The big disclaimer – I have not purchased products from all of these sites, so please review their terms and conditions carefully.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Is Age Just a Number?

I just read an interesting article in USA Today on the ideal age to get married. According to the US Census, the new median age is almost 26 for women and almost 28 for men. It’s the oldest since they began keeping stats.

Is it better to start your career and look for love later in life? Or, does it make sense to build your life and career with the one you love? What do you think? Ageless wives want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, November 7, 2008

The Crazy Lady in the Carpool Line

The car ride to school was unusually peaceful this morning … right until we pulled up to the front of the drop-off line at school. You know, so everyone could witness my drama.

That’s when I heard a big ruckus in the backseat and turned around to see my children fighting their way to the front to kiss me goodbye. Sweet, right? Yeah, I wish it was all about me but they really only care who gets to do it first.

So I stop the car, turn around, pry them apart and a nice gentleman from the school working the carpool line opens the door just in time to hear me yell. That’s when my son starts crying and screams…

“Mommy, YOU poked me in the eye.”

WTF? Why is everything always my fault? Mind you no parts of my body came anywhere near his eyes.

So now I’ve changed from the crazy lady in the store to the crazy lady in the carpool line.

Great. And, it’s only 9 a.m. Happy Friday…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I’m Back…

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Could there be better day to come back? OK, truth be told I’ve been back for a week, I just haven’t blogged. I needed some time to rejoin the “real” world. Wifey’s big adventure was so awesome and dare I say life changing that even I, a writer, can’t fully put it into words – gasp! Instead of trying to do that in one post I’ve decided to share bits and piece of my journey over time, but today, ahem, is Hump Day…

Did anyone watch Oprah’s show on sex this past Monday? Yes, somehow Oprah keeps finding her way into Hump Day. Anyway, if you missed it, you missed a good one. Dr. Laura Berman was her guest and gave a really fun and informative sex lesson about fantasies, orgasms and vajayjays as Oprah calls them.

I won’t attempt to retell the entire show, I suggest setting your DVR to catch it when it reruns, but I will share with you Dr. Berman’s homework assignments. The first one is to kiss for 10 seconds everyday. A few months ago I wrote about kissing and suggested something similar. Move past the peck and kiss your husband for a full ten seconds without the intent of it leading to sex. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised how long a real ten seconds is – one one-thousand, two one-thousand… – and what kind of reaction you’ll get when you do it.

The second homework assignment caused a little stir with the audience: look at your vulva with a handheld mirror. Gasp! Her rational is that you need to know yourself, your own body, and be able to look at, especially if you want him to. Talk about freaking some people out. It’s amazing how sex, and most things relating to sex, can ignite such strong reactions. She didn’t suggest that you examine his body, ahem, she simply suggested that you look at your own.

So, this week feel free to recall your school days and do a little homework. Doubling up on the first assignment might even earn you extra credit.

Winks & Smiles,

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Still Sailing…

Buon Giorno, from Italy! No, I didn’t fall overboard – gasp! – Wifey is still here cruising around the Mediterranean. I’ve been doing my best to enjoy every city and all of the sites so I haven’t been blogging like I had hoped.

Barcelona was beautiful...

Cannes was captivating...

and Florence was fabulous.

I’m looking forward to sharing more pictures – and details – once my big, beautiful ship turns back into a pumpkin.


Winks & Smiles,

Friday, October 17, 2008

Salutations from Spain

Hola! After two fabulous days in Madrid I wanted to check-in, send salutations from Spain and share that I am having a wonderful time. Here are a few pictures from my adventure so far…

Wifey and Wanda saying our last goodbyes from the plane...

Loading the luggage up in Madrid...

The Atlanta Girls (as the crew has affectionately named us) having horchatas in Retiro Park...

Looking regal at the Royal Palace...

Wanda, Wifey and my sister, Nicole, hanging out with Don Quixote.

Tomorrow we are off to see Toledo and then onto the beautiful city of Barcelona. I’ll make sure to post more pictures soon.

Adios amigas!

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bon Voyage

It’s about four hours until I am on sitting on a plane in route to Madrid. I apologize that there is no Hump Day post today, but I will try to make up for it with something extra special when I get back.

In the meantime, I will do my best to write updates and post pictures while I am enjoying Wifey’s Big Adventure so make sure to check back.


Winks & Smiles,

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wifey's Big Adventure

Friday’s confession…

I’ve been keeping a secret. I wasn’t trying to be deceptive, ahem, but I wasn’t able to disclose any details until now.

The secret is I’m going on a trip. Not just any trip. A trip overseas… to cruise the Mediterranean Sea… for two weeks… for a show on the Travel Channel… that’ll air in January.


I know. I’ve pinched myself several times, and am happy to report that I’m not dreaming.

Madrid, Barcelona, Livorno, Cannes and Venice are just a few of the places that I'll visit when I board the plane next Wednesday with my sister, Nicole, and our girlfriend, Wanda, to take a cruisetour on Royal Caribbean’s Brilliance of the Seas.

While I’ve traveled to Europe before, I’ve never cruised the Mediterranean and can’t wait to experience it on this beautiful ship.

I wish I could take you all with me – no really I do – but I can’t, so I will make sure to blog as much as I can while I’m there. In the meantime, I’m scrambling to get myself, my wardrobe and Wifey’s real house in order so that Husband and the kids will function smoothly while I’m gone. Gulp!

Here’s a picture of the beautiful Brilliance of the Seas…

And a suite similar to the one I’ll be staying in…

I’m officially counting down the hours until I leave … 118.

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sexy Sabotage

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I’ve got a question for you: Are you sabotaging your own sexiness?

I went swimsuit shopping yesterday with my mother as I am preparing to go on a special trip (more details about my excursion in an upcoming post) and for the first time in a long time – thanks to my Fifteen in Five plan – I actually enjoyed it. I bought two fabulous swimsuits and can’t wait to wear them – in public. That inspired me to go home and dive into my closet to search for outfits for the rest of my trip. As I reached past my usual work-from-home, take-the-kids-to-practice, workout gear I found a closet full of stylish, sexy clothes and shoes waiting for me to rediscover them.

Gasp! Have I been sabotaging my own sexiness? While I’m not guilty of rocking the infamous “mom jeans,” I found out that I haven’t always been putting my sexiest side forward. What’s ironic is I know better – I talk about staying a hot chick after getting married in my book – but I think sometimes we all could use a little reminder.

So, here it is… your sexiness reminder. I know we’re all busy, but sexiness really doesn’t have to take a lot of time. I know we all come in different shapes and sizes, but fortunately sexiness does, too. Maybe it’s some hot jeans, sleek boots, pretty panties, a touch of make up, or simply a positive mindset that makes you feel sexy. Whatever it is that sparks your sexiness make sure to flaunt – not sabotage – it!

Winks & Smiles,

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Bells Ringing and Rings Blinging

Bells will be ringing for my favorite and only sister Nicole when she joins the wonderful world of "wifedom" and ties the knot with her boyfriend, ahem, fiancĂ©, Corey. He popped the question – and a fabulous diamond ring – yesterday and officially asked her to marry him.

The bling-bling. They’re a little camera shy but the ring isn’t.

Congrats and love to you both. Hey, I’ve got a good book for you to read…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, October 3, 2008

Book Fair on the Square

Friday’s confession…

It’s difficult to be your own publicist. In my previous life – before kids – I was an entertainment publicist and contributed to the success of several superstars including Usher, OutKast and Toni Braxton. I was very happy putting other people in the spotlight and flying below the radar. Now that it’s time to push my own project I have to get used to stepping into the spotlight and speak up about myself a little bit more than usual.

So with that said, if you live in the Atlanta area I will be signing books at the Book Fair on the Square in downtown Marietta tomorrow, October 4, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Come out and say hello… I would love to sign a book for you!

Oh, and I’m pleased to say I will be interviewing publicists next week.

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Do You Fake The Big O?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week in my Ask Wifey column I tackled a question about faking orgasms. Gasp! Dare I say it, most women have yelled to the hills when they were less than thrilled at sometime or another.

That leads me to ask, do you fake “The Big O?” Don’t worry, it’s a rhetorical question. You don’t have to answer out loud, although your comments are definitely welcome. My question is more to get you thinking. Are you satisfied with the outcome – no pun intended – when you actually find the time to have sex? Or, are you doing your best “When Harry Met Sally” impersonation?

Statistics show it takes more than intercourse for most women to reach orgasm, and that it doesn’t happen during every sexual encounter. My advice to the woman last week was instead of faking it; find new ways that will truly take you there and then share them with your husband.

I suppose a little enhanced holler every now and then doesn’t hurt anything; but wouldn’t it be more fun for everyone involved if you really mean it? What do you think? Theatrical minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, September 26, 2008

I Lost My Game

Friday’s confession…

I let somebody throw me off of my game – literally. Husband and I joined a flexible tennis league to play mixed doubles. We had our third match yesterday and lost. It’s not that we lost that bothers me, its how. The man we played yesterday was really friendly, but his wife had a cloud of negativity that followed her around the court. Not the obvious kind, she presented a very friendly front, but she had an air of snootiness about her that bothered me from the moment we shook hands.

I tried to ignore it, but I just couldn’t help being bothered by this woman’s every move. Needless to say, I focused more on her and less on my tennis game and was totally distracted by the time they beat us in the second set.

What bothers me the most is not that we lost – the couple played a solid game – it’s that I let myself be bothered by somebody else. I can’t even blame her. She really didn’t do anything but be herself, it was me who allowed me to be affected. I hate that. It’s not the way I normally conduct myself; I’m more of a shrug things off, the glass is half full kind of girl.

Friday’s confession … I let me throw me off of my game – literally. How about you? Have you ever pulled yourself out of your zone, and had trouble getting back? Thrown off moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Six Sexy Do’s & Don’ts

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In honor of the official release of my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage, here’s six do’s and don’ts from the book to help keep your sex life… sexy:

Do take the time to create the sex life you want. You have your whole life to build your sex life. That’s why it’s called a sex life.

Don’t do anything that you’re not comfortable with. Married or not – period.

Do what makes you feel sexy. Wear pretty panties, shave your legs, and shower yourself with fragrant body wash. Take the time to do the things that make you feel sexy.

Do have a nooner. Meet at home for lunch… and skip the lunch!

Do keep your sex life interesting. There’s nothing worse than boring sex…except more boring sex.

Do experiment with sex toys and games. There’s a wide assortment of fun and safe toys and games available to enhance your sex life. Spice it up and have some fun.

To purchase a copy of Help! I’m a Newlywed for yourself or as a gift for a new bride visit or

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, September 19, 2008

Scholar Athletes

Friday’s confession…

I’m at it again. Another season of sports at Wifey’s House and somehow I just can’t help but lose myself in the moment. Now I’ve got two to juggle. Miles had his first football game last Saturday and Milan had her first softball game.

Every overboard mom needs a team sign (yes, I made it myself)...

and a team shirt (no, I didn't make this one)...

and a ferocious little football player...

and a sweet little softball swinger...

ready for her first game!

As much as I love sports I do demand that school and homework come first. After that they can play until the sun goes down. How about you? Do you have any little scholar athletes running around your house? Cheering moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Three Secrets to Better Sex

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. It’s no secret that I’m a fitness fan and am quick to share the benefits of getting buff – remember this – so it shouldn’t come as a surprise after my Fifteen in Five plan that I’m tying sex and exercise back together again.

Here’s three ways exercise can improve your sex life…

Stamina – In a world where everyone is overworked, underpaid and utterly tired exercise provides energy giving you the strength and stamina to make love all night long… or get hot and heavy for a good thirty minutes.

Stretching – Flexibility is often overlooked as one of the important elements of exercise and getting fit. Not only is stretching good for your muscles, but become limber enough to put your leg behind your head or do a full split and see how good it is for your sex life, too. If you don’t believe me ask your husband.

Self confidence – There’s something special that happens once you start exercising and doing things with your body that you never thought you could. Whether it’s running marathons or running down your street, improving your fitness level and shedding extra pounds is one of the most natural and powerful self esteem boosters. Applying that confidence in the bedroom can open doors – or better yet bring the need to lock them – more often.

Winks & Smiles,

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Do You Believe in Magic?

If you believe in magic and possibly know how to conjure up a little of your own, you and I need to chat.

If you know how to be in two places at once that’s a secret that would help me a lot right now. If you know how to snap your fingers and poof, your house is clean, or even better if you have the cleaning fairy’s cell phone please leave it in a comment below… I’ve been trying to reach her for awhile now. And finally, I’m still trying to figure out how to add more hours to my day. If anyone has cracked the code to that age old classic, I could really use that info.

So, did I mention things have been a little busy around Wifey’s House recently? How about your house? How do you manage to get everything done without a little magic? Busy moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, September 12, 2008

Fab Friday

Friday’s confession…

I didn’t do a confession today, but I did start a new column at The Newlywed Life called Fab Friday. If you like cute shoes this post is for you…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

All Night Long or One Hour Strong?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Husband was flipping through this…

(No, this post is not about the cover, even though it’s oozing sex.)

… and handed me the magazine to look at the article, “The 33 Most Overrated.” While he was laughing at something at the top of the list, it was the bottom that grabbed me.

Number 33 on Blender magazine’s most overrated people, places, trends and other junk in rock list is Sexin’ All Night Long. The article reads:

“Usher, Keith Sweat, AC/DC, Prince…we could go on and on about the mack daddies who brag about going on and on – hittin’ it, workin’ it and doing other stuff to it – until the break of dawn. Even Dokken have a song about all-night boning. Two words for all these guys: Shyeah, right! Have you actually ever tried sexin’ it for more than, like, two hours? You get bored. You get sores. You get tired. Call us square, but unless you’re Sting or a crystal-meth addict, an all-night sex marathon sounds about as fun as an all-day Friends marathon. Underrated alternative: Sexin’ for 45 minutes and getting 10 hours sleep.”

Is it me or is this funny as hell? When was the last time you had sex for more than two hours… in a row? Gasp! My newlywed wives might have a little different answer than my veterans, especially if the sexin’ hasn’t spawned any children yet. Kudos to those with the stamina to sustain, but the underrated alternative might not be so, ahem, underrated.

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, September 8, 2008

Getting into the Games

I’m feeling very athletic this morning, in somewhat of a virtual way. I started playing Fantasy Football yesterday with some of the moms from Miles’ football team. Now I know why my husband acts the way he acts during football season. Yes, I got caught up in all of the hype.

We had our online draft last night and jumped right into the competition of the first weekend of football. My team, Wifey’s Warriors, is trailing my opponent, Purple Thunder, by about 25 points, but there is still Monday Night Football so I’ll have to wait and see what happens.

I am also feeling athletic because my first tennis match with my women’s doubles team was yesterday. Although we had to retire the match because my partner got sick in the heat – they don’t call it Hotlanta for nothing – both of us played really great in the first set. I could see and feel a definite improvement in my game and can’t wait to continue the rest of the season.

How about you? Are there any athletes out there – real or virtual? Active moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, September 5, 2008

Don't Wake the Baby!

Friday’s confession…

I have the terrible habit of laughing at some of the things my children do and say that should solicit a more, ahem, parental response. Thank God for Husband or we would all be a hot mess.

For instance, Milan put her baby doll to sleep the other day. It was all nice and neatly tucked into its baby carrier. After she put the baby down on the couch she looked at us both sweetly and said, shh, please talk softly so that you don’t wake up my baby.”

Both Husband and I shrugged our shoulders alright. I guess that wasn’t good enough for Miss Milan because she responded quickly, “if you wake my baby up, she’ll reach out and scratch you!”

Gasp! WTF? Where did that come from?

After ducking away to hide my laughter I pulled myself together enough to tell her that I hope she is teaching her baby that scratching people is not a nice thing to do.

Yes, my darling dear had answer for that one, too.

“I tell her, Mama, but she just doesn’t listen.”

Hmm, sounds familiar.

How about you? Are you good at keeping a straight face in front of your children or do you laugh out loud? Silly moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sex Signals

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I have a question for you: do you know what kind of sex signals you send to your spouse? And, when you send them?

You are sending sex signals, whether you mean to or not. And, believe me, your husband is reading them, correctly or not. When you’re tired, overworked, and completely distracted your husband can read that in your body language. If you put the kids to bed then go change into your favorite pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-Shirt, he knows his chances of getting them off of you are slim. That’s not to say that he won’t try, but more than likely a red flag went up when those sweatpants went on – especially if you normally slip into something sexy when you’re trying to seduce him.

Do you get into the bed and turn your back on him when you want to go to sleep? Do curlers in your hair mean no nookie for the night? Do you touch him more throughout the day when you have thoughts of getting it on later?

These subtle signs, intentional or not, register with your spouse. It’s important to be aware of the messages you’re sending and when you send them so that you stay on the same sexual page with your husband. Too many negative vibes might leave him feeling discouraged and undesirable. Gasp! Yes, men don’t like rejection anymore than women do, especially when it comes to sex… and they can be extremely sensitive about it.

This week, pay attention to your sex signals. You might be conveying messages that you don’t mean to send. If sweatpants don’t mean hands off, make the first move and let him know. If you are tired and want a pass for the night, sleeping topless might not deter him. Whatever you do, make sure to keep your intentions, and your husband’s feelings, in mind.

Winks & Smiles,

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Golden Girl

It’s over. Whoo hoo! My Fifteen in Five plan has reached it’s end and the final results are in…. after almost five weeks I have lost a total of 10 pounds and dropped nearly two clothes sizes – and I am absolutely thrilled!

No, I did not reach the fifteen pounds, but in my eyes I still won. Ten pounds in a little less than five weeks is phenomenal and most importantly a healthy amount of weight to lose. That averages out to two pounds per week, which follows most professional guidelines.

About three weeks into my plan I realized losing the fifteen was looking slim – no pun intended. For a brief moment I contemplated doing something drastic to ensure that I hit that mark. I’m certain if I restricted my calories even lower than I already had, added a few more workouts or went on a “cleanse” I would have made the fifteen, no doubt. Then I quickly realized that would be a disappointing mistake. Not only is it dangerous – mentally and physically – to be so attached to reaching a number, but it would be a poor example to set since I am sharing my journey with other people. Besides, I am not J-Lo, Beyonce or any other superstar getting paid millions of dollars to toy with their weight on demand.

So, I stuck to my plan of working out and eating healthy; and couldn’t be happier with the results. My girlfriend who also took the challenge with me, faired well and lost just under 10 pounds herself, so I went out and got us both a little something.

Inspired by the Olympics, I think it’s important to recognize hard work when it happens. Both of us stayed strong to our commitment – working out regularly, no cheating with the eating and not drinking one drop of alcohol. With five kids between us, all under age ten, that deserves a medal in itself.

I’m not sharing all of this to toot my own horn – as a former publicist I naturally like to blend into the background – but I would love to inspire someone to tackle one of their goals, too. I think I’m proof that you don’t have to be perfect (I lost 10 pounds not 15, remember?) but you do have to do it. Besides, some of the rewards are priceless.

Last spring I bought an adorable little tennis dress on sale knowing I couldn’t fit into. It was 50 percent off, a size too small and stayed on the hanger with the tag on it the entire season. Now, that same little dress will be the one I wear on Sunday to start off my fall tennis season.

My dress, my gold medal and me ten pounds lighter!

The accountability of having a partner and blogging about my journey has been extremely helpful in staying on course. I appreciate all of you who stopped by to cheer me on and wish me well. Please let me know if I can ever do the same for you…

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, September 1, 2008

Tomorrow, Tomorrow…

I’m actually taking a little time to enjoy the three day holiday weekend and am spending time with my family today… so, I will post about the results of my Fifteen in Five plan tomorrow.

I know, I know, the suspense is killing you right? But tomorrow is only a day away.

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm Late... But Passin' Out Bling

Friday’s confession…

I’m late. I have been tagged, awarded, and memed; and am just now posting about it. I’ve fallen in love with blogging and have truly met some incredible people doing it. I appreciate all you lovely ladies who gave me a shout, please know you are always welcome at Wifey’s House! I have two awards to pass out today and will tackle the memes next week.

Now here’s my attempt to give a little back…

The Restless Housewife and Monkey Toe Momma were sweet enough to give me the You Make My Day Award.

There weren’t any rules with that one so I’m combining it with this one…

The I Love Your Blog award was passed on to me from the wonderful Terri Rainer.

Here are the rules:
1. The winner can put the logo on their blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you’ve nominated.

I am passing them both along to:

Mocha Momma
Caffeine Court
The Dana Files
Immoral Matriarch
Workout Mommy!

While all of these blogs are uniquely different, they are each outstanding in their own right. Some of them I’ve just started reading, while some of them were my firsts in this wide, wild, world of blogging.

Kudos to you ladies for creating such fabulous blogs and thanks for doing what you do…

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Feel the Music

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week Oprah’s got me again. For some reason her television show and magazine continue to feed me great material for Hump Day (thanks, Oprah … we should do lunch!).

I was flipping through the pages of the September issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, the shopping section to be specific - and had to stop and do a double take when I saw a picture that looked like this...

Now I’d like to think that I’m a smart girl, but I quickly shoved the magazine in Husband’s face to confirm that this was what I thought it was.

It’s called the OhMiBod. Yes, it’s a vibrator that plugs into your iPod, iPhone, or any other music player and vibrates to the rhythm of the music. Wow. This gives a whole new meaning to the saying "feel the music."

The magazine actually featured this one...

It's called the Naughtinano – don’t you just love the names? OhMiBod also makes several other musically inspired gadgets to choose from.

For all you music lovers out there, ahem, here’s the link.

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, August 25, 2008

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Do you remember that movie starring Lilly Tomlin? Uh oh, I’m dating myself with that one. Anyway, my height is not shrinking but I’m happy to say that my width is.

I’m in the home stretch of my Fifteen in Five plan and I’m determined to reach my goal. The numbers on the scale are still fluctuating, yikes!, but the numbers on my clothes don’t lie. I’ve dropped one, possibly two clothes sizes and actually enjoy looking in the mirror. Gasp!

I’ve got five more days to convince the scale to be my friend again, but I already feel like I won. I’ve stayed focused, displayed discipline and feel better than I have in a long time. I know that that is more important than what the scale tells me, but I’ve set this challenge so I’m putting my all into finishing it.

So, here’s to a week of great workouts, good healthy eating and falling numbers. Wish me luck…

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, August 22, 2008

I Suck

Friday’s confession…

I suck. I didn’t do my Friday’s confession. Oh wait, that is a confession. Let’s start over…

I suck.

Seriously, I’ve had an extremely productive work week which in turn has left me without my normal Friday’s confession. This is a good and bad thing. Work is good, no confession is bad.

Oh wait, I forgot… I did do a confession…I suck. See what too much work and lack of alcohol does…

Winks & Smiles,

(No, I'm not catholic, every Friday at Wifey's House I confess something that probably shouldn't be said.)

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Kiss and Tell

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I shared a few interesting facts about sex. One of them was the average person spends two weeks of their life kissing. It might sound like a lot but when you break it down it’s really not. Two weeks is 336 hours. There are 8,736 hours in one year. Let’s say you live 80 years, we’ll only count 60 since none of us were kissing anyone before we were twenty, right? Ahem, ahem. That’s 524,160 hours. A mere 336 hours doesn’t seem like much when you added it all up.

The point of that exercise was not to show off my math skills, or lack of if my numbers are wrong, it’s to bring to your attention how often you kiss your spouse. When is the last time you kissed your husband? I mean really kissed your husband. Not the quick peck goodbye kiss, but the I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you, we-just-started-dating kiss.

I know, nothing can really recreate that magical feeling you had when you first started dating, but there is something special about a long sensual kiss. It can make sparks fly when the flame is flickering and add an exciting boost to your relationship.

This week kiss your husband. Not just in the bedroom, but sometime that you both least expect it. Stop him when you pass him in the hallway, interrupt him when he’s checking his e-mail, or catch him during a commercial when you’re watching your favorite show. You don’t have to kiss and tell, kissing enthusiasts never do, but you do have to kiss him. After all, the hours are adding up.

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, August 18, 2008

Break Up to Make Up

That’s what the song says, but I prefer to stop all of the back and forth. We’re cool again – me and my former best friend. I still don’t trust her, she can be so sometimey, but she’s moving in the right direction again so I’ll keep her.

Seriously, it was good week for my Fifteen in Five plan. I stayed on track with my eating, haven’t touched a drink, gasp, and enjoyed my workouts – especially running. Oh, and I lost a couple of pounds, too. Ironically, I’m really not a numbers girl. I place more importance on how healthy I am, how I feel and how I look than on how much I weigh.

I decided to strive for a number to challenge myself so I would work harder and not settle for what so far has been relatively easy. Mediocrity and doing just enough to get by can be more damaging than you realize. Sometimes good isn’t good enough. Maybe I’m caught up in Olympic fever, watching the best in the world compete, but I’m itching to do more. I’ve got a little less than two weeks to make my goal and I definitely plan on doing it. That means it’s time to turn it up another notch, to break out of my comfort zone and to think about my personal gold medal waiting for me once I'm done.

Speaking of the best in the world, my grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday over the weekend. I could write for hours about all the joy she has brought to my life, but instead I’ll just share a picture from her birthday celebration and assure you there’s nothing mediocre about this woman.

My foxy G-Ma!

Winks & Smiles,

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tooth Fairy Fired Due to Budget Cuts

Friday’s confession…

I’m a little on the frugal side. I like to save money. I look for bargains or inexpensive brands… oh hell, I’m cheap! So, when my son woke up the other morning and told me that the tooth fairy left him $4 I knew he must’ve counted incorrectly.

Four dollars? WTF? That’s a gallon of gas.

Don’t get me wrong. My children are priceless, but come on, it’s a tooth. And it’s not in his mouth anymore.

So I had a little chat with the tooth fairy who thought that was a fair amount for the type of tooth that it was and it’s position in the mouth. Again, WTF? Clearly the tooth fairy is not in charge of the budget at Wifey’s House.

Is it just me or is $4 a lot? I remember getting change for my teeth. I know that was 30 years ago, ahem, but still. Please let me know if you think I should fire the tooth fairy or if I need to get second job to pay for all these teeth.

Winks & Smiles,

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Sex Facts or Fiction

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I could use a little mindless humor. I stumbled across this website of interesting facts and thought that I’d share a few of the sex ones with you.

Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. Is that why I get so excited over a good piece of … chocolate?

Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds. No, really? I thought it was 5.

Each day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse acts taking place all over the world. Wow. Imagine if all of the tired moms added to that number.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour! This is good to know for my Fifteen in Five plan.

Eight-five percent of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse are found to have been cheating on their wives. Can you say Karma?

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Hello, they lived in Bedrock…Yabba dabba doo!

25% of women think money makes a man sexier. No comment.

Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don’t. And I thought reading all of those self-help books was productive.

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing. Hmm, I wonder how much of that leads to the 120 million sexual intercourse acts per day.

I’m not sure how many of these are facts or fiction. The site that I pulled them from listed no sources, but did include this on one of the lists:

60% of statistics are made up... Gasp! You mean eating large quantities of chocolate is not just like having sex? Damn.

This last one has nothing to do with sex, but I couldn’t resist…

In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions. I can vouch for this one myself.

Winks & Smiles,

Monday, August 11, 2008

Best Friends Forever?

Remember last week I introduced you to my new best friend? Well, we broke up this morning… right after I threw it out the window.

OK, I didn’t throw it out the window, but we really don’t like each other anymore. It’s not personal, we just don’t see eye to eye about all of the hard work that I put in last week on my Fifteen in Five plan, so, I’ve decide to move on.

Seriously, my numbers didn’t really move from last week which is fine because I’m still on track to meet my goal. I’m proud of the hard work and effort that I put in last week. I worked out hard, stayed away from my liquor cabinet, survived two business lunches (one at an Italian restaurant and one at a soul food joint), and made it through a day at Six Flags Over Georgia without eating a funnel cake.

Now that's will power. And yes, Husband and the kids did tear one apart right in front of me!

I feel like I’m getting stronger, mentally and physically, and my pants are feeling a little looser around my waist. So, the way I see it it’s fine to part ways with my new, ahem, former best friend… at least until next week when I find out if it’s decided to play nicely.

Winks & Smiles,