Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Breasts, Tummies, Lips… Now This?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

Did you know that you can get plastic surgery done on your vajayjay? Breasts, lips, hips even butts, but I had no idea that upgrades were available for your vagina, too.

I personally am not a big fan of plastic surgery (although I never say never) nor am I advocating for anybody to get some, but I am truly fascinated that there are procedures for your private area and felt the need to share my discovery with you.

I was watching The View last week and saw Dr. David Matlock from the television series Dr. 90210 dishing with the hosts about laser vaginal rejuvenation and improving sexual relations by tightening vaginal muscles. Then he broke out a model of the vaginal area, pointed out the infamous G-spot and explained that there is a G-spot Shot that can increase sexual pleasure and cause more frequent and multiple orgasms. Hello.

While all of that sounds, um, exciting, I’m not certain that me and my vajayjay are ready to visit the good doctor, but for any of you who might be tempted – oh, come on… I know some of you, ahem, many of you have to be a tiny bit curious – here’s a link to The Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles where you can learn more about it.

In the meantime, this just might be good motivation to give yourself a little natural rejuvenation – can anyone say Kegels?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Fifteen in Five

Now that the kids are back in school and I have my days back to be productive, ahem, I’m all geared up to do that. I have several goals, both professional and personal, and have decided to push myself harder than usual to get the results I want. I find myself telling my kids to strive to be the best, not to blend in with everyone else, that good isn’t good enough, and that they should work hard to be great.

Yeah well, there’s this little voice in my head that keeps telling me to practice what I preach. I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to have a sexy, toned body and start training again. I want to sell out the first run of my book and have even more success with the next one. I want all of these things but have been guilty of standing in my own way. Most of the time I am my own biggest obstacle. Correction, I was my own biggest obstacle. I’ve decided to stop wanting and to start doing.

It’s time to turn things up a notch. While I applaud myself for the things that I’ve already accomplished, I know that there is even more in store for me – as long as I’m willing to work for it. I think that’s one of the major differences between successful people and the majority. Successful people don’t just talk about what they want, they make it happen. So, with that said I’m attacking my goals with detailed plans and, most importantly, action.

One of my goals is to tone my body – to lose excess fat, get stronger, leaner and healthier. OK, I can’t lie, a booty like Beyoncé’s would be nice, but I’ll be happy with a slim-downed version since I can’t move mine like she does anyway.

Fifteen in five – pounds and weeks. While that might be a bit aggressive, I’m feeling like a challenge is much needed to push past my plateau. A challenge and a little accountability. My girlfriend and I are tackling the next five weeks together with weekly Monday weigh-ins and a set of guidelines to keep us on track. I’ll also be chronicling some of my journey here. I might boast about some of my success and I might bitch about some of my challenges – did I mention I’m giving up alcohol for the five weeks? Gasp! Talk about dedication.

How about you? Are you striving to do your best at whatever you do or are you your own biggest obstacle? Successful minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Monday, July 28, 2008

School is Back and So is My Sanity

It’s the first day of school. Yes, you read correctly and yes, I know that it’s still July. My kids go to a charter school that uses a balanced calendar, which means they have more time off around the year and a six week summer.

I have a second grader and a kindergartener. Wow. My babies clearly are not babies any more and are officially out of the house – at least for seven hours a day. I’m not sure if I want to run around jumping for joy or to sink into the sofa and sob, so I’ll just share a few pictures instead…


My big kindergartener!


The annual classic first day of school picture.


The annual chaos to take the classic first day of school picture!

OK, jumping for joy wins, whoo hoo, but… I’ll be the first one on the car pool line, happy to see their out-of-the-house, school-going smiling faces.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Friday, July 25, 2008

100 Posts, But Who's Counting

Friday’s confession …

This is my 100th blog post and I must admit, I keep peeking around corners waiting for the balloons, confetti and a slick talking man with a plastic smile, bad hair and a checkered colored suit holding a microphone to run up and congratulate me with an oversize $10,000,00 check.

OK, I’m awake now … but it is a big deal to me. Especially since I’m still riding the high from BlogHer ’08. I remember my first post like it was yesterday, OK, it was only six months ago, but still. I tend to get a little dramatic when I’m emotional, bear with me.

Even though no surprise celebrations have happened thus far, I must say on this momentous day, it’s nice to be mentioned… no featured, no… to have my face plastered on one of my favorite blogger’s post, ahem, Mocha Momma, ahem – even if it is because no one really knows who the hell I am or can tell any of “us” apart.

Thanks to all of you who have read any of the first 100 … here’s to 100’s more to come!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Hair Police Not Only Stopped Me, They Were Riding in My Car!

The conversation on the car ride home from Miles’ dentist appointment yesterday was informative to say the least. As we stopped at a shopping center to run into the grocery store Miles happily told me…

“Mama you should go in there!”

The sign read Beauty Mart.

“Really, why?”

Duh. Just slap me now. I don’t know why I asked.

“Because you NEED to get your hair done.”

Thank goodness I wasn’t feeling particularly vulnerable yesterday or my outburst of laughter could have easily been crying. WTF? I thought I was cute rockin’ my baseball hat and ponytail. I even did my make up.

This is the same kid who is the first to tell me how pretty I look without prompting when I get all dolled up, so I’m inclined to think he’s telling the truth.

Damn.

My ego has since recovered, but yes, I can be a tad shallow… by the end of the day my ‘do was done!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Just Do It! Sex, More Sex and … More Sex

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. I finally just did it – read Just Do It, How One Couple Turned off the TV and Turned on Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!) by Douglas Brown.

I posted about the book when I first saw the couple on The Today Show. Flabbergasted by their tale of 101 straight days of sex, I was intrigued and interested to read the book. It didn’t disappoint. It was a fun, easy read chronicling the events leading up to and throughout their 101 day sex marathon. What worked about this book was the commonality of the couple and their story. This could easily be you, your best friend or your neighbors next door. Reading about the every day dilemmas that distracted them from a more active, intimate sex life and the simple, sometimes quirky things they did to enhance it (attending a porn convention, doing yoga, trying lubes, toys and even Viagra) confirms that you’re not alone and that you, too, can get things on and poppin’ in the bedroom or wherever you like to “do the do.”

While the book probably could’ve been about 100 pages shorter, it still left you feeling like an exciting, more frequent sex life is realistic despite long sleep nights with a restless baby or long working hours toiling over your career. While there is no mention of how they tackled sex during her period – am I the only one who is curious about that? – the book offered realistic ideas for pushing sex higher on the priority list. True to the title, sometimes you just have to do it – even when you’re justifiably tired – and more often than not you’ll be happy that you did.

Although 101 days might be a bit ambitious, I definitely think it could be beneficial to up the ante a little bit when it comes to how many times you and your husband lock the bedroom door each month. For those of you who are already hanging from the chandelier kudos to you, but for the majority of us that often let life get in the way I challenge you to come up with a little goal of your own. Take the amount of times you do it in one month and double it; or if you’re feeling really ambitious go for a week or an entire month straight. Gasp! Only you know what and how much your sex life needs, so think about it – no really, take some time to stop and think about it – then … just do it!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Update – Alissa found the answer to my question about the periods …in the first chapter of the book, the doctor suggest a pill that will allow her to skip periods for up to four months at a time. Hmm. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one.

Monday, July 21, 2008

I Left My Baggage in San Francisco

Not literally, I carried on the plane, but I did leave some emotional baggage in the city where Frank left his heart.

Before I get into that, I must say that BlogHer ’08, the reason I was in San Fran, was absolutely fabulous. It was organized, informative, enlightening, inspirational and oh yes, the parties were the bomb. I learned a lot, laughed a lot and was so pleased to see that 1,000 women could get together and lift each other up instead of knocking each other down. That’s a whole lot of estrogen in one place!

It was great to meet some of the women behind my favorite blogs – The Restless Housewife, Mocha Momma, The Dana Files, Mommy Needs a Cocktail and of course Motherhood Uncensored – and to learn that they are just as smart, funny and dynamic in person as they appear on the screen. I made some new friends – two of the lovely women from 3 giraffes were so kind to me at the Newbie Mixer where they instantly adopted me and became my brand new publicists telling everyone “She’s from Wifey’s House and she wrote a book!” I also found a variety of diverse blogs – the Immoral Matriarch, Gwen Bell and many others – that I can’t wait to explore more.

Oh, I would be remiss if I didn’t say one of the highlights of conference was getting to hang out with Grover and Abby Cadabby in the Sesame Street Suite. I don’t know who loved my personalized video with Grover more – me, Husband or the kids.





Ok, back to the baggage. Over the past month I’ve been feeling like I’m spinning my wheels but barely moving forward. Launching my book, trying to grow my website, my blogs, doing freelance work and oh yes, running the Robertson household has been a bit taxing … Ok, really, it’s been hard as hell! For the past few weeks I’ve realized that I need to make some changes. I need to work smarter, a little harder and need a well planned schedule to pull it all together. I’ve been doing some research, some reading and a whole lot of thinking which cumulated this weekend in San Francisco. What better place to get motivation from than a sea of women leaders, entrepreneurs and innovators?

By the time I got on the plane heading back to Atlanta I felt recharged, reenergized and refocused. I’m looking forward to making some positive changes in my life so that I can stop the spinning, drop the baggage and move forward to achieve my goals.

Oh, I was also looking forward to getting back into the Hotlanta heat. If anyone tries to warn you about the weather in San Francisco listen. It’s cold as shit out there!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Friday, July 18, 2008

Irony is a B*tch!

Friday’s confession…

I’m in San Francisco at the BlogHer ’08 conference … and am too tied up to blog. Isn’t that a bitch?

Gone to BlogHer 08

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A Sex Site Suzy Homemaker Style...

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I stumbled across a great website that I have to share – mypleasure.com.

Have you ever been surfing the net and purposely, or not, ahem, come across a sex site that is too overbearing, crass and offensive? While some people might be drawn to explicit entertainment, there are many interested in sex that don’t want to be bombarded with graphic images, loud music or gidgets and gadgets that we have no idea how to use. If you fall in the first category there’s already plenty on the web to satisfy your needs, but if you like a less intimidating, but not watered-down approach mypleasure.com is the site for you.

“At MyPleasure, we're dedicated to providing the finest adult toy shopping experience possible. We don't use pornographic images or cheap marketing tactics to make money; we try to appeal to a broad, upscale and mainstream audience by offering only the highest-quality products in a clean, comfortable and elegant online shopping environment.”

And they really do. If it wasn’t for a small, unassuming picture of a pink vibrator on the page, you might think you were shopping on Bed, Bath and Beyond or some other home décor retailer. But, what really makes this site great is all of the extras it provides. Everything from sex tips, articles, Q&A’s, games and quizzes, and my favorite, gasp, the education section. They’ve got a sex glossary, a sex toy dictionary and a thorough sex toy guide for those of us who don’t know the difference between slimline vibrators and personal massagers. I mean really, who knew they offer waterproof “vibes?”

While I have yet to buy anything from the site, ahem, I feel a shopping spree coming soon; I did read their shipping and refund policies which made me feel comfortable and confident in their delivery. Even if you’re not interested in purchasing anything, the extras on the site are still worth a look.

So, don’t worry about turning your volume down or an over made up girl and her exposed triple D’s popping up to ask you if you like to have a good time; you can check mypleasure.com out discreetly or… leave it open on your computer for your spouse to sneak a peek.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My Cards, My Shoes and a Big Girl Pill … BlogHer ’08, Here I Come!

I was up late last night reading the agenda for the BlogHer '08 Conference this weekend in San Francisco. There’s a great deal of information, guides and helpful post to get you prepared and gassed to go. And I must admit I am … excited to go. Excited and a little anxious.

I’m used to having people over Wifey’s House, and I’m no stranger to conferences and networking events, but still, there’s something different about preparing to go to the largest women’s blogging conference when you’ve fallen in love with blogging, still consider yourself a newbie, and don’t know ONE person attending. Yikes.

After reading a ton of welcoming advice from previous BlogHer attendees, my nerves chilled out and the excitement kicked in. I pulled out my business cards, a cute pair of shoes and took a big girl pill. Sometimes you just got to suck it, get yourself out there and enjoy the moment; and that’s exactly what I plan to do.

If you’re attending BlogHer, don’t be shy, please walk up and say hi; and I’ll make sure to do the same. I haven’t mapped out my outfits yet, but I’ll be the one in the cute red shoes.



Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Monday, July 14, 2008

Relax, Recharge and Release

I’m back at Wifey’s House after a wonderful weekend at the beach. Husband had a fabulous fortieth birthday and we both got a much needed break from our daily grind. It’s so important to take some time for yourself, to change your scenery and to recharge in order to stay productive. Whether you’re a CEO of a major corporation or CEO of your house, everyone is susceptible to burning out and everyone needs a break.

When is the last time you got away? I know the economy is kicking everyone’s ass right now and that financially things might be challenging. I also realize everyone does not have easy access to childcare, BUT it’s still imperative that we find a way to make it happen. If a vacation isn’t in the cards right now, a one day, one person retreat just might be the answer. Break your regular routine and spend the day doing whatever you love to do – the spa, playing tennis, reading books, sipping lattes at Starbucks – getting away doesn’t have to be expensive but it does have to happen.

Truth be told I was a little anxious about skipping town. Missing workdays and blowing my budget always makes me a little uneasy, but wow… it was worth it. How about you? When’s the last time you’ve played hooky? How do you relax, recharge and release? Overworked minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Friday, July 11, 2008

Playing Hooky

Friday’s confession…

I confess, I chose to sleep in late, have breakfast overlooking the beach, and then go play tennis with Husband on his 40th birthday instead of waking up and writing a great post.

Forgive me. The family and some of our friends ran off to the beach for the weekend to celebrate my husband’s historic day. I’m off to tickle my toes in the sand and will fill you in on all the festivities later.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

It's All About Location...

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I put you to work and suggested you clean up your bedroom, boudoir or whatever you decided to call it. This week I’ve got nerve, I’m trying to get you out of it.

When was the last time you had sex outside of your bedroom? Gasp! For those of us with kids that’s a wild and almost non-existent thought. For those of you without kids, hopefully it won’t take you too long to remember.

Yes, the bedroom is the primary spot that most of us will do whatever we do when we do it, but having sex in the same place all the time can get … um … a little predictable. What better way to throw some excitement into your sex life than doing something a little different and a little risqué. Do you remember the thrill of taking a risk and hoping not to get caught? Whether you were dodging your parents, your roommate or someone walking by in the park, ahem, excitement was always raised when you stepped outside your bedroom.

No, I’m not crazy and I’m not advising anyone to get too randy or get them self arrested for public indecency, ha, but I’m challenging you to get up out of your bed. Do something different in a different place. Make a date for a shower or bath. Do some work in your home office or do a little cookin’ in the kitchen – yes, puns intended. If you do have children or your space is limited, put them in their own beds then lock your bedroom door and get on your bedroom floor. Light some candles, throw some blankets down and make an event out of it. My newlywed folks pay attention, too. While you might not have as many distractions early on in your marriage, being spontaneous and creative now is a great foundation to lay for your sex life.

So, this week find a safe and sexy spot; and save your bed for sleeping.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Monday, July 7, 2008

I Won the Peachtree!

Well not really, but that’s what I told my daughter when she met me at the finish line.

“Did you win, mommy?”

“Yes, pumpkin. I didn’t finish first, but I won because I did it!”

The Peachtree is the largest 10K (6.2 miles) road race in the world with more than 55 thousand people participating in it every year. It takes place on the Fourth of July and is the perfect way to prepare for all that good barbeque that’s going to get devoured later in the day.

This was my fifth time running, ahem, jogging in the race and as always it’s a rewarding feat. I didn’t quite realize how challenging it can be until I was half way up cardiac hill – yes, that’s the official name for the largest hill on the race course – and thought, “this is some shit!”

Every year while I’m running down the most famous street in Atlanta, I get recharged, reenergized and reminded that I can do anything I set my mind to. Ten years ago, if you told me I would run 6.2 miles I would have laughed at you and lit up a cigarette. I was the self-proclaimed laziest person on earth and frequently used the word “can’t.” Now, ten years later, smoke free and full of “can” I am living proof that changing your mindset can change your actions, which can change your life.


A fulfilled, but tired Wifey!

How about you? Is there something you’ve recently conquered that you never thought you’d do; or something out there that you’d really like to try? What are you waiting for? Who knows, you just might win the Peachtree, too!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Me and Husband… and Ballerina Barbie?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I have a chore for you, gasp, but it could lead to some really great sex. Clean your bedroom.

I am not trying to make extra work for you, but if your bedroom looks anything like mine, you really should consider it. There is nothing sexy about rolling over to get your groove on and Ballerina Barbie pliés you in the back. My newlyweds and kid free couples, you’re not off the hook either. How exciting is your laptop, blackberry and stack of paperwork piled ceiling-high on your nightstand; or clothes – clean or dirty – tossed around the room? Your bedroom should be an inviting place for sleep and sex; not a junk, work or playroom for the kids’ toys.

I started reading Just Do It: How One Couple Turned off the TV and Turned on Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!), by Douglas Brown, (yes, a review and challenge will be coming soon), and really took heed when they prepared their room, dubbed “The Love Den,” for their 100 day sexcapade. Call it what you want – The Love Den, Your Boudoir, The Place Where We Have Sex – but just make sure that it’s an environment that welcomes sex. Clear the clutter and replace it with candles, incense or whatever lights your fire – no pun intended. Grandma is the bomb, but do we really need a picture of her watching us while we get our freak on? Instead, replace it with a picture of the two of you; or better yet, your bedroom is the perfect place to keep your favorite wedding picture.

Take the time to create a space that’s sexy and inviting to you and I’m willing to bet you’ll feel more inclined to use it! Happy cleaning…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Somebody Lost 20 Pounds…

… And they left it on my ass. Gasp! I know it sounds crass, but it’s true. I’m sure I’m not the only one carrying around somebody else’s weight, and yes, I’m certain there is more here than what’s supposed to be.

After two days of celebrating little girl’s birthday, I have had more than my fill of cupcakes, icing, hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, burgers, cupcakes, more cupcakes, well, you get the point. I’m more than ready to complete my mission and lose my final 20 pounds.

Let me back track just a minute. Long story short – I like, most women, ride the weight rollercoaster. It’s been an interesting journey, but I’m ready to jump off and I figured writing about it just might give me the final support I need to stay grounded.

After Milan was born, I fell in love with fitness. I lost an incredible 70 pounds (almost 30 under my pre-pregnancy weight) and got my personal training certification. That was a huge deal for me. All of my family and friends were supportive, but shocked. Let’s just say I was not really a physically active kind of girl. I really blew their mind when I signed up for and completed a half marathon. Anyway, not only did I lose the weight properly (through eating right and exercising) I started teaching others how to do it, too. That was extremely rewarding and something that I plan to do again.

As we all know life is not always neat, and can often get in the way. Let’s just say that 2007 was a messy year for me and I’m more than happy to leave it in the past. During that year, I had a miscarriage and gave myself permission to use that as an excuse as to why I gained weight. Yes, I’m probably being a little hard on myself. I gained weight being pregnant, and kept the weight being depressed – all very normal things. Then I woke up one day, unhappy with the way I felt, the way I looked and decided that it was time to get a new client – me.

So, I decided to renew my personal training certification, and started training myself a few months ago. I’m pleased to say that I’ve lost more than 15 pounds and would like to knock out another 15-20 to get the body that God really intended me to have. I’m sure I can do it, but sometimes a little accountability is just the kick in the ass – especially when you are carrying around someone else’s – that you need.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey