Tech Support for Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then …

Come over to Ask Wifey to read more. Not trying to be difficult folks, just not trying to double post!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexolutions

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

I started Hump Day last year with this post to help keep sex on your mind - and your to do list. As we begin a new year filled with new resolutions it’s the perfect time to set a few goals for your sex life, too.

Mine?

Right.

I’ll share a few, ahem, to get you started…

1. To try something different. A new position, new time of day, new room of the house…

2. To take a dance class here. It’s sexy and it’s exercise – double bonus points!

3. To do the dance I learn for Husband. Gasp! That would definitely take care of number one on this list.

4. To increase frequency. No explanation necessary.

5. To fit into a bikini by my birthday. No, that’s technically not about sex, but something tells me if I can do it, sex will somehow come into play.

OK, that’s enough. The rest of my list is tucked away safely, booby-trapped with a dye pack and a motion detector.

How about you? Have you made your sexolutions, yet? We're already seven days into the new year...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

How Do You Get Started?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House. The one day a week I dish about sex.

What’s your favorite form of foreplay? No, you don’t have to tell me, but you do have to tell your husband. Is it a kiss on the back of your neck; or watching a naughty flick; or maybe it’s when he takes over with the kids so that you can get a break.

Foreplay for women often starts way before we get into the bedroom. Our mood can be kindled or killed simply by the way we interact throughout the day. You might realize that lack of appreciation sucks the sex drive right out of you, but does he? My bet is he doesn’t, ‘cause if he knew a little acknowledgement is foreplay for you – and that he just might get some if he starts saying please and thank you – you would hear those magic words more often.

I’m being a little factious to illustrate my point: let your husband know what turns you on. Don’t assume that he knows. Take the time to tell him that you think it’s hot when he comes home, rescues you from the daily drama and puts the kids to bed. Show him that you love it by putting him to bed when he’s done. Always make sure to respond when he does something that you like so he knows it’s working – and so that he’ll do it again!

Foreplay is an important part of sex. If foreplay doesn’t happen, chances are sex won’t either.

So, what’s your favorite form of foreplay? Husbands everywhere want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wifey Talks the Talk...

The good folks at Psychjourney were kind enough to invite me over to talk about my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage.

We had a great time dishing about living together, communication, sex, in-laws and much more. To hear the podcast, please visit Psychjourney Podcast Blog or Lasting Love and Marriage Blog.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Doubling Up

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I posted about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment." This week I find it only fitting to provide you with a link to hear the reverend’s conclusion about the seven day sex challenge he gave to married couples in his congregation.

In the video he suggests that people continue to nurture their sex lives outside of the seven day challenge by doubling up on their regular routine. If you have sex once a week, make it twice. If you’re already getting it on twice a week strive for four. Double whatever the number is and go from there.

The point of doubling up is not to play the numbers game – who cares how many times you do it if you’re not having any fun – but to make a conscious effort to improve the quality of your sex life, not just the quantity.

So, this week when you try doubling up, ahem, don’t only focus on the number of times you have sex, but on making it a more exciting and desirable experience for you and your spouse. Who knows, next week you might think three times is a charm...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexperiment for MARRIED Couples – Warning Requires Sex - Gasp!

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In case you missed it, here’s a clip from CBS News about Reverend Ed Young’s “sexperiment.”



It reminds me of a shortened and more obtainable version of this.

Over the past week I’ve seen several interviews and media coverage that has either praised him for suggesting such a thing or has condemned him for suggesting such a thing. Gasp! It’s amazing the controversy that sex can stir – especially sex encouraged to strengthen MARRIED couples’ relationships. I did hear him correctly; he is only talking to MARRIED couples, right?

Thoughts? Opinions? Participants? Inquiring and MARRIED minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Dress Up to Undress

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. In previous posts I’ve talked about looking your best – working out, taking the time to get dressed, ahem, and ditching the bedtime T-shirt and sweatpants. This week I’m encouraging you to freshen up your nighties – but not to sleep in. Gasp!

Yes, I’m talking about lingerie. Technically considered intimate/sleepwear apparel but not necessarily meant for sleeping. When is the last time you took an audit of your teddies and tried them on for your hubby? If you can’t remember I suggest you go straight to your bedroom and take a peek to see what you might be missing.

While lingerie is not for everyone, many men and women find it sexy and empowering. Sometimes slipping into something designed to enhance your sexiness is like unleashing an alter ego allowing you to feel more free and sensuous – or just plain naughty. Gasp!

Whether it’s thongs and thigh-hi’s or babydoll’s and chemises; there’s lingerie out there to fit all different tastes, shapes and sizes. This week take some time to discover what you – and your husband – like and get dressed up … to undress.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Here’s a few links to get you started. The big disclaimer – I have not purchased products from all of these sites, so please review their terms and conditions carefully.

Victoriassecret.com
Barenecessities.com
Pamperedpassions.com

Is Age Just a Number?

I just read an interesting article in USA Today on the ideal age to get married. According to the US Census, the new median age is almost 26 for women and almost 28 for men. It’s the oldest since they began keeping stats.

Is it better to start your career and look for love later in life? Or, does it make sense to build your life and career with the one you love? What do you think? Ageless wives want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Do You Fake The Big O?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week in my Ask Wifey column I tackled a question about faking orgasms. Gasp! Dare I say it, most women have yelled to the hills when they were less than thrilled at sometime or another.

That leads me to ask, do you fake “The Big O?” Don’t worry, it’s a rhetorical question. You don’t have to answer out loud, although your comments are definitely welcome. My question is more to get you thinking. Are you satisfied with the outcome – no pun intended – when you actually find the time to have sex? Or, are you doing your best “When Harry Met Sally” impersonation?

Statistics show it takes more than intercourse for most women to reach orgasm, and that it doesn’t happen during every sexual encounter. My advice to the woman last week was instead of faking it; find new ways that will truly take you there and then share them with your husband.

I suppose a little enhanced holler every now and then doesn’t hurt anything; but wouldn’t it be more fun for everyone involved if you really mean it? What do you think? Theatrical minds want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

All Night Long or One Hour Strong?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Husband was flipping through this…




(No, this post is not about the cover, even though it’s oozing sex.)

… and handed me the magazine to look at the article, “The 33 Most Overrated.” While he was laughing at something at the top of the list, it was the bottom that grabbed me.

Number 33 on Blender magazine’s most overrated people, places, trends and other junk in rock list is Sexin’ All Night Long. The article reads:

“Usher, Keith Sweat, AC/DC, Prince…we could go on and on about the mack daddies who brag about going on and on – hittin’ it, workin’ it and doing other stuff to it – until the break of dawn. Even Dokken have a song about all-night boning. Two words for all these guys: Shyeah, right! Have you actually ever tried sexin’ it for more than, like, two hours? You get bored. You get sores. You get tired. Call us square, but unless you’re Sting or a crystal-meth addict, an all-night sex marathon sounds about as fun as an all-day Friends marathon. Underrated alternative: Sexin’ for 45 minutes and getting 10 hours sleep.”

Is it me or is this funny as hell? When was the last time you had sex for more than two hours… in a row? Gasp! My newlywed wives might have a little different answer than my veterans, especially if the sexin’ hasn’t spawned any children yet. Kudos to those with the stamina to sustain, but the underrated alternative might not be so, ahem, underrated.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex Signals

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I have a question for you: do you know what kind of sex signals you send to your spouse? And, when you send them?

You are sending sex signals, whether you mean to or not. And, believe me, your husband is reading them, correctly or not. When you’re tired, overworked, and completely distracted your husband can read that in your body language. If you put the kids to bed then go change into your favorite pair of sweatpants and an oversized T-Shirt, he knows his chances of getting them off of you are slim. That’s not to say that he won’t try, but more than likely a red flag went up when those sweatpants went on – especially if you normally slip into something sexy when you’re trying to seduce him.

Do you get into the bed and turn your back on him when you want to go to sleep? Do curlers in your hair mean no nookie for the night? Do you touch him more throughout the day when you have thoughts of getting it on later?

These subtle signs, intentional or not, register with your spouse. It’s important to be aware of the messages you’re sending and when you send them so that you stay on the same sexual page with your husband. Too many negative vibes might leave him feeling discouraged and undesirable. Gasp! Yes, men don’t like rejection anymore than women do, especially when it comes to sex… and they can be extremely sensitive about it.

This week, pay attention to your sex signals. You might be conveying messages that you don’t mean to send. If sweatpants don’t mean hands off, make the first move and let him know. If you are tired and want a pass for the night, sleeping topless might not deter him. Whatever you do, make sure to keep your intentions, and your husband’s feelings, in mind.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Kiss and Tell

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I shared a few interesting facts about sex. One of them was the average person spends two weeks of their life kissing. It might sound like a lot but when you break it down it’s really not. Two weeks is 336 hours. There are 8,736 hours in one year. Let’s say you live 80 years, we’ll only count 60 since none of us were kissing anyone before we were twenty, right? Ahem, ahem. That’s 524,160 hours. A mere 336 hours doesn’t seem like much when you added it all up.

The point of that exercise was not to show off my math skills, or lack of if my numbers are wrong, it’s to bring to your attention how often you kiss your spouse. When is the last time you kissed your husband? I mean really kissed your husband. Not the quick peck goodbye kiss, but the I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you, we-just-started-dating kiss.

I know, nothing can really recreate that magical feeling you had when you first started dating, but there is something special about a long sensual kiss. It can make sparks fly when the flame is flickering and add an exciting boost to your relationship.

This week kiss your husband. Not just in the bedroom, but sometime that you both least expect it. Stop him when you pass him in the hallway, interrupt him when he’s checking his e-mail, or catch him during a commercial when you’re watching your favorite show. You don’t have to kiss and tell, kissing enthusiasts never do, but you do have to kiss him. After all, the hours are adding up.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Just Do It! Sex, More Sex and … More Sex

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. I finally just did it – read Just Do It, How One Couple Turned off the TV and Turned on Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses!) by Douglas Brown.

I posted about the book when I first saw the couple on The Today Show. Flabbergasted by their tale of 101 straight days of sex, I was intrigued and interested to read the book. It didn’t disappoint. It was a fun, easy read chronicling the events leading up to and throughout their 101 day sex marathon. What worked about this book was the commonality of the couple and their story. This could easily be you, your best friend or your neighbors next door. Reading about the every day dilemmas that distracted them from a more active, intimate sex life and the simple, sometimes quirky things they did to enhance it (attending a porn convention, doing yoga, trying lubes, toys and even Viagra) confirms that you’re not alone and that you, too, can get things on and poppin’ in the bedroom or wherever you like to “do the do.”

While the book probably could’ve been about 100 pages shorter, it still left you feeling like an exciting, more frequent sex life is realistic despite long sleep nights with a restless baby or long working hours toiling over your career. While there is no mention of how they tackled sex during her period – am I the only one who is curious about that? – the book offered realistic ideas for pushing sex higher on the priority list. True to the title, sometimes you just have to do it – even when you’re justifiably tired – and more often than not you’ll be happy that you did.

Although 101 days might be a bit ambitious, I definitely think it could be beneficial to up the ante a little bit when it comes to how many times you and your husband lock the bedroom door each month. For those of you who are already hanging from the chandelier kudos to you, but for the majority of us that often let life get in the way I challenge you to come up with a little goal of your own. Take the amount of times you do it in one month and double it; or if you’re feeling really ambitious go for a week or an entire month straight. Gasp! Only you know what and how much your sex life needs, so think about it – no really, take some time to stop and think about it – then … just do it!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Update – Alissa found the answer to my question about the periods …in the first chapter of the book, the doctor suggest a pill that will allow her to skip periods for up to four months at a time. Hmm. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad one.

Playing Hooky

Friday’s confession…

I confess, I chose to sleep in late, have breakfast overlooking the beach, and then go play tennis with Husband on his 40^th birthday instead of waking up and writing a great post.

Forgive me. The family and some of our friends ran off to the beach for the weekend to celebrate my husband’s historic day. I’m off to tickle my toes in the sand and will fill you in on all the festivities later.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Got Game?

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

A few weeks ago I wrote about treating yourself to a Sexy Splurge. I do my best to try and practice what I preach – especially when shopping is involved – so I crashed Jenny over at Daily Dose of Motherhood’s Pure Romance Party and picked up this fun little game.



It’s called I.O.U., The Game of Hidden Pleasures. It comes with 42 hidden pleasure pull-tab cards that you and your lover exchange and then do whatever is revealed on the card. Directions include things like Dinner served naked, Shower for two, Erotic bedtime story and Playful ice-cube fun.

What a fun and simple way to initiate sex. Slip a card to your husband on his way off to work so he can look forward to cashing it in when he gets home; or you can use it as an I.O.U. when you need to tell him no, but keep him happy and looking forward to the next time.

Games can be a great way to keep the sex sizzling in your relationship. How about you? When’s the last time you bought, played or even made up a game? This week have a little fun with your husband and show him that you’ve got game…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Open Door Policy

I normally don’t like to put Husband on blast, but I couldn’t resist…

I’ve heard of having an open door policy, but this is a bit extreme. For a moment I thought I was caught in the movie Poltergeist …


One


Two

Three


Four

Five

Six


Seven

… until I saw Husband in the tv room with a bowl of microwave popcorn. Yes, that was seven doors he left open - including two appliances. And, I wondered where the kids get it from.

Ha.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

More Sex than Singles

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

I was reading an article online about sex starved marriages and how many couples are finding themselves “too busy” or “too tired” to have sex. The article had some interesting statistics in it including how many times per year married couples have sex – 68.5 times or a little more than once a week, according to a study done by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago. The statistic that I found most interesting, or ironic, is that married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters a year than non married people.

Doesn’t that counter act the myths that we always hear? Married couples never have sex. Apparently some do, and more often than the single folks. While I take it with a grain of salt – it did appear in the article titled “We’re not in the Mood” – it still tickles me.

For many couples, once a week is blessing and for others it’s not enough. Sex is a very personal and touchy subject – literally. The frequency of it should be determined by the couple themselves, not by myths, society or statistics. While our lives often throw roadblocks in front of us that can make it difficult to find time for sex, it’s so important that we do.

So how about you? Do you know how often you and your spouse have sex and are you both satisfied with it? This week, put some thought and time into your sex life and what you can do to keep going.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Just Do It!

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex.

I was watching The Today Show yesterday and saw a segment about a married couple who vowed to have sex for 101 days – in a row. Gasp! Not only did they do it – yes, pun intended – they wrote a book about it called Just Do It: How One Couple Turned Off the TV and Turned On Their Sex Lives for 101 Days (No Excuses)! by Douglas Brown.

OK, I can’t lie, they caught my attention. For some people sex has never been an issue. Even through pregnancies, babies and sleepless nights their sex life has never suffered. Kudos to them. For the majority of us as kids, work, and life in general attempt to sabotage our sex lives, we need to work a little harder at making sure we “just do it.”

While 101 days in a row might be a bit ambitious, I like where they are going with this. I feel a challenge coming on, but I’m going to wait to read the book first. It comes out on June 24 and sounds like an interesting read. So, in the meantime, I think the title of the book pretty much sends a good message: turn off the TV and just do it!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tennis Anyone?

I started playing women’s doubles recreational tennis through the Atlanta Lawn Tennis Association last spring. I played tennis when I was younger, but hadn’t really touched a racquet in at least twenty years. It’s almost like riding a bike, the basics all came back. And, thanks to my fabulous coach, Andre, my game is improving immensely and I’m having an absolute ball – no pun intended.

That’s exactly why I was so pleased, and somewhat shocked, when Husband said that he wanted to play mixed doubles with me this season. Husband is athletic, he played football in college and has worked out his whole life, but, tennis has never been his game.

After only two months of playing, he’s almost surpassed me and has already turned into a great player. It’s almost amazing. It could have something do to do with his passion and “obsession” for the game. Yes, although I love it, I’ve created a monster who wants to play everyday, several hours a day.

So, Husband and I played our first match of the season on Saturday and pulled out a hard-fought victory – 4-6, 6-3, 7-5. It was great because I love playing, but it was even better because I was playing with Husband. While having separate interest from your spouse is healthy, it’s also beneficial to find common interests and activities that you can do together. It’s so easy to slip into separate schedules, but finding something that will keep you active and working together as a team can really strengthen and add a little spark to your relationship.

How about you? Tennis anyone? Or, softball, flag-football, running, bowling … What activities do you and your spouse do together? Active couples everywhere want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Bigger Picture

Yes, I was one of the many who went out this weekend to see what happened next in the lives of Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha in Sex and the City. No, I’m not a die-hard fan, but I’m all for a good chick-flick, especially when it contains themes that I can relate to – weddings, married-life, children, sex, self-identity, and being 40, gasp, (OK, I’m not there yet, but 37 is definitely feeling much closer to 40 than 30).

I liked it. I laughed, I cried, I thought parts were perfectly done, and I thought parts were overdone – but isn’t that why we like the show in the first place? While there was so much blog worthy material in the movie, there was one thing that really stood out to me – when Carrie and Big’s wedding got to be too much for him, and he needed to know that it was still just about the two of them. I thought that was big – no pun intended.

I love the fabulousity of a good wedding (I blogged about it last week) but I also think so often brides get caught up in the whirlwind of a “wedding” and forget about the importance of the “marriage.” When a man asks a woman to get married, I’m willing to bet that he has put more thought into spending the rest of his life with his woman, what that means and how that will change his world forever; than what color tie he should wear, who will do his hair or if he should serve chicken or steak at the reception. He might give a lot of thought to the hefty cost of his wedding day, but more often than not, he’s more focused on the bigger picture.

Maybe, ladies, we should take a hint from them. For those new brides who are in the process of planning their wedding, I urge you to have a ball and plan the day of your dreams, but… I also urge you to pay as much attention to your fiancé and plan for the rest of your life together, too. At times, it seems like your wedding day will never come, then within 24 hours, it’s over and gone. That’s when reality sets in and believe me, you’ve better be prepared for it.

Veteran wives, did you see past your stroll down the aisle? New brides and inquiring minds want to know …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey