Friday, February 29, 2008

An Excuse to Brag

I'm all for positive reinforcement, so when I read one of my favorite blogs this morning that’s encouraging moms to brag about their kids to promote their strengths, no one had to twist my arm.

You want me to talk about my kids? Pull up a chair, this might take awhile. On second thought, instead of gushing on and on, which I could easily do, I’ll do my best to sum them each up in a few words.

Miles – the great-debater, smart, compassionate, funny, witty, athletic, clumsy, charming, handsome, thoughtful, sweet, likeable, talkative … he’s that kid most kids want to be friends with.

Milan – the natural-born-leader, intelligent, beautiful, self-assured, loving, girly, athletic, aggressive, silly, darling, fun, assertive, talkative, fearless … she’s that kid most kids will follow.

It’s amazing how two kids can come from the same parents, live in the same house, be so close in age and be so different. I think it’s important to recognize your children for who they are and not for whom you want them to be. While it’s important to make sure they are well rounded, I am all for identifying, nurturing and encouraging their strengths.

What about your children? What are their strengths? The Parent Bloggers Network is hosting a blog blast today where you can brag about your children and possibly win great prizes including Jenifer Fox’s book, “Your Child’s Strengths.” Share with the rest of us. Proud mamas want to know…


Morning Face

Friday seems to be the day that I keep confessing shit, I mean clearing my conscience, so I guess I’ll continue on.

This is another one of those “practice what you preach” scenarios. School day mornings I pretty much roll out of bed, get the kids ready and head out of the door. All focus is on them. Husband is normally off to work by then, and I work from home so I have no desire to wake up any earlier than necessary. If someone was to "Ask Wifey" is it OK to take your kids to school in the morning without getting dressed, I’d probably tell them something like, “Uh, No.” It’s not necessary to be in full make-up and drag, but hello, you don’t want any of the kids asking your child “Why is your mommy still wearing her pajamas?” Not that it’s happened to me or anything. Ahem.

Anyway, this morning we were running a little late. No one, including me, wanted to get up … and it’s Friday. Not much was done this morning to enhance my appearance except brushing my teeth and throwing on some clean sweatpants. So of course this is the morning that I kept seeing people I know. First, I arrived at my daughter’s school right when my neighbor and his daughter pulled up. I figured I could move slowly and he would go in first without ever seeing me. Miles had different plans.

“Hey, there’s our neighbor!”

And his door flew open so he could hop out and say hello.

Damn. Sometimes you’ve just got to smile, take a big girl pill and get over it. I said hello and pretended that I didn’t look like the hot mess I knew I was.

Then we get to Miles' school and drive into the drop off lanes. Of course I pull right next to one of my best girlfriends whose husband happened to be with her today. I smiled and quickly told them “this is my morning face… my Friday morning face.”

“Right,” they said and laughed.

Lesson learned. Monday, I’ll be fresh, clean, hair done and might even put on some lip gloss; and I’m sure I’ll run into absolutely no one.

Do you get dressed to drop off your kids at school; or put make up on to run in and out of the grocery store? Come on and spill the beans, a little confession is good for the mind.


Thursday, February 28, 2008

Our Car

Husband and I switched cars the other morning. The kids and I rushed out the front door to go to school. Miles stopped and gasped…

"Mama, Daddy took OUR car!"


Three or four deep breaths later…

"Our car? Sweetie, YOU don’t have a car. The only car you have are the little ones in the Matchbox rolling case next to your toy box upstairs in your room."

Our car? Humph. Are you kidding me?


Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Sexiest Thing You Can Do For Your Husband

What is the sexiest thing that you can do for your husband? OK, ladies think hard. Nope, it’s not performing a sexy striptease or greeting him at the door in lingerie with a drink. Both good guesses, but they're not it. It has nothing to do with sending dirty text messages, rose petals, champagne or chocolate covered strawberries. The sexiest thing that you can do for your husband is … exercise.

Yes, that’s right, exercise. I couldn’t let American Heart Month slip by without mentioning how important exercise is to your health and your marriage. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for women. Yes, more women die from heart disease than cancer. Fortunately, there is something that you can do to decrease the risk of getting heart disease – exercise. Not only does regular exercise help keep your heart healthy, it keeps your body fit, too. Working out boosts your energy level and raises your confidence leaving you healthy, strong and sexy.

Yes, let’s get back to sexy. Taking care of yourself is the best thing that you can do for yourself, your marriage and your husband. You are no good to any of these if you are not a happy and healthy person. Eventually, lack of exercise will take its toll. I’m willing to bet money that your husband will think exercise is sexy if it gives you the stamina to pull an all-nighter; or if it gives you the strength to swing seductively around a pole; or, if it gives you a booty like BeyoncĂ©’s; or if it gives you the confidence to try a new position; or if it simply keeps his wife healthy, happy and thriving.

Start exercising today and feel the benefits it adds to your heart, your health and your sex life.

Smiles & Winks,

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

What Did I Get Myself Into?

Now I know why everyone looks around at each other when the coach asks who would like to be the Team Mom? What I haven’t figured out yet is why I raised my hand.

I felt bad. Miles' T-Ball coach asked the question two or three times and everybody looked away and mumbled the reasons why they couldn’t. I also heard Husband’s words ringing in my head. You never make the commitment to get involved. What? What! Yes, ma’am, those words sparked a huge, I mean calm and well behaved debate. I never get involved … hmm… could it be because I am working, taking care of a husband, two kids, a dog, writing a book, cleaning the house, shuffling the kids around to their activities ... blah, blah, blah.

After getting over myself and the long list of things I am very committed to, I finally heard what Husband was trying to say. He wasn’t questioning my ability to commit, but more my willingness to take on one more role. I, like many other mothers who have overloaded plates, hadn’t raised my hand to be Team Mom because it’s one more thing that I thought I didn’t have time to do. For many this is true, but sometimes a little shuffling and scheduling can clear out a few minutes in the day to take care of Team Mom responsibilities. Or so I thought when I raised my hand.

How hard could it be anyway? In my previous life, B.K. (Before Kids), when I worked as a publicist in the music industry, I was responsible for flying superstar artists and their entourages - bands, dancers, mamas, boyfriends, dogs (don’t ask) - around the country and arranged performances on some of the top television and award shows. I’ve walked Usher, OutKast, and many others down the red carpet at The Grammy Awards. Surely I can handle eleven 5 and 6 year-old little boys playing T-ball in the park once a week. Ha.

While, it wasn't quite as demanding as a walk down the paparazzi filled red carpet, my first Team Mom meeting lasted two, yes, two hours where I received a very well-organized and detailed packet full of information that I was responsible for throughout the season. Yeah. Now I know why everyone looks around when the coach asks who would like to be the Team Mom?

Opening Day at the park is this Saturday. There are team banners to be made, names to put on jerseys, snacks to schedule, a truck for the parade to decorate, fundraising to do, waivers to sign…

Wish me and the Southwest T-Ball White Sox good luck…


Monday, February 25, 2008

Money Matters

Money matters - period. It’s easy to pretend that it doesn’t. It’s so easy to ignore how much interest you pay on your credit cards; or, how long it’s going to take to pay them off. It’s so easy to spend more than five bucks a day on that mocha latte you’ve got to have; or on McDonald's for the kids when you’re running late. And, spare change? Do you really keep up with your change; or does it disappear – like mine - into the depths of your purse?

For most of us, money is a hard thing to master, but it must be done. Last week I was all hyped up about practicing better money habits and becoming a money maven. One week later, I’m still fired up and have decided to put my money where my mouth is – no pun intended. It’s so easy to talk about making changes, but hard to do. After reading Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover, I am inspired to make some things happen. What’s even better, husband is, too! When you’re in a marriage, it’s crucial that both partners be on the same page. Especially with money! You can’t focus on paying off debt if Husband is out there running it up.

One of the things that Dave Ramsey suggests is taking baby steps. Starting small so you can feel the reward. Does money matter to you? Are you doing everything that you can to make sure it works and grows for you? Start small. Get yourself a jar and fill it with your change. Cut back on the daily cups of latte and trips through the drive-thru. If you’re feeling daring, you can brew Starbuck’s at home; or, really get wild and cook for your kids! Gasp!

Take a minute to think about your money – or lack of – and how much it matters to you.

Cha-ching & Smiles,

Friday, February 22, 2008

The Crying Game Plan

Milan finally convinced me to watch the Disney movie The Game Plan with her this past weekend. She really had to twist my arm because I had absolutely no desire to lie down on the couch and stare at Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for an entire hour and half.

He is so hard on the eyes.

OK, confession, after little Peyton almost died because she ate nuts and The Rock ran her through the streets in his arm to the hospital, then was absolutely crushed because she choose to stay with her aunt instead of him … ahem … I cried. It wasn’t a full on hysterical cry, in fact I don’t even think a tear actually slipped out, but I got all choked up none the less. No, I am not pregnant, PMS-ing or hormonal. Just a little, um, sensitive. To make it even worse, Milan looked at me in disbelief like, come on Mom, it’s just a kid’s movie.

On a side note, why does the mom normally die in Disney movies? Mustafa took a loss in The Lion King, but otherwise it’s mostly the mom. Nemo, Cinderella, Bambi – the list could go on. Am I the only one who finds this a little disturbing?

Smiles & Cries,

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Video Voyeur

It’s Hump Day here at Wifey’s House. For those of you who are visiting for the first time, Hump Day happens every Wednesday when I post about sex. This Wednesday I’m curious to know if you view. Are you a video voyeur? Yes, I’m talking about porn.

One of the questions that I answered this week in my Ask Wifey column addresses the question of watching porn. A wife discovered some porn videos her husband rented and was conflicted about whether to watch them with him. Porn is a billion dollar industry and it didn’t get that way by only men and sex addicts watching it. But, somehow the idea of a middle class housewife with 2.5 kids and a dog watching adult videos is still taboo. Perhaps it’s the stereotype that adult videos are all cheesy, poor quality, hardcore and are made only for men. Is it because we were taught to be good girls and good girls wouldn’t dare watch porn? Are we afraid that the Joneses might find out? Or, maybe we’re afraid that we just might like it. Hmm.

What ever the reason, many women still seem to shy away from admitting they like to watch adult entertainment videos. I remember flipping through the July 2007 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, finding the article “Eyes Wide Open, What Kind of Woman Watches Porn – And Likes It...” by sex educator and blogger Violet Blue, and thinking, Wow, maybe the stigma is getting lifted. If Oprah’s magazine is talking about porn there must be a lot of women watching it. Come on, you know Oprah’s a trendsetter.

So, what do you think? Is the stigma lifted? Are there any video voyeurs out there? Don’t be shy, leave a comment and weigh in… even if you do it anonymously.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Mama… Mama?... Mama!... MAMA!

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I hear all day long. If I had a dollar for every time my children said mama, my money woes would be over. Not only do they say mama fifty million times a day, they say it fifty million ways, too! OK, I’m exaggerating a little, but not much. Mom, mommy and mama are pretty much interchangeable in my house. Since I clearly don’t have enough things to do, I figured I’d see how kids all around the world yell mama in their houses, too.

I found a site that list how to say mom in many different languages. In French it’s Mere, German it’s Mutter, Hindi it’s Maji and Dutch it’s Moeder. Just as I was starting to get excited and ready to teach my children a new language - just to break up the monotony a little bit - I looked up mother on Wikipedia. Apparently, mama or something very similar is widely used around the world. It even says mama, borrowed from the English, is widely used in Japan. What! Japan? Wow. There’s no escaping it.

So I guess, mama it is. I don’t know, I’m thinking of switching to Makuahine - that’s mother in Hawaiian - just to stir things up. What do your kids call you? Makuahine wants to know…


Monday, February 18, 2008

Money On My Mind

I woke up this morning with money on my mind. I’m not sure about you, but money is something that I never seem to have enough of. My eyes don’t blink dollar signs, but I can’t lie – the thought of being debt free and financially secure is almost orgasmic! Husband and I have decided that we need to buckle down and really get our financial house in order. I’m not a money maven – yet, but I do know a thing or two. Definitely enough to dedicate a chapter in my Newlywed book on how to deal with money. But obviously not enough to claim I’m debt free and financially secure – yet. One of the downsides of writing a book and dishing out advice is you have to practice what you preach. Damn. No, really, it’s actually a good thing because it motivates me even more to put into practice some really good habits that will pay off – literally – in the future.

Like I said, I’m not a money maven yet, but I plan to be one – soon! When I decide to do something I pretty much grab hold and take it on for the long haul – kinda’ like how the media does Brittney. This is not a financial blog, but I’m sure I will be bragging about … ahem… I mean sharing some of what I’m learning and bitching about some of the sacrifices that I’ll have to make from time to time. I invite you to do the same. If you’ve already mastered money in your house please share it with the rest of us – money-managing minds want to know!

In the meantime, I am off to Border’s bookstore to buy Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover. Husband has been listening to him on the radio and thinks it’s worth checking out. I guess you have to spend money to make money. I’ll keep you posted…


Friday, February 15, 2008

Cupcake Confession

I was attacked by two Valentine’s Day cupcakes last night. Not one, but two. A chocolate and vanilla. OK, truth, I had a fight with two Valentine’s Day cupcakes. And they kicked my ass. The fight started in the grocery store when I had to buy them, for the kids of course. I decided I could handle it, knowing that I probably would succumb to one. Definitely not two. But, I devoured them both after dinner - back to back. And, they were great. Within five minutes I totally wiped out my 50 minute morning workout.

One of the culprits! How could I resist?

The true confession... it was worth every little, yummy bite!

Smiles & Guilt free,

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Can We Come Back Tomorrow?

A couple was having marital problems. They decided together to seek professional help and contacted a marriage counselor.

After several sessions the counselor felt that he discovered the problem and the solution. He stood up, went over to the woman and gave her a long, heartfelt hug. He then turned to her husband and said, “This is what your wife needs, at least once a day, everyday.”

The husband frowned, considered what had been said for a moment, and then replied, “OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?”

Happy Valentine's Day!


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Six Reasons for Valentine's Day Sex!

Happy Wednesday, or Hump Day, as many people call it. In honor of Hump Day, I have decided to dedicate every Wednesday's weekly post to sex. Gasp! Yes, really, I'm going to talk about sex. As frightening as that may be for some, it's much needed for many of us. I don't know about your house, but in Wifey's House sometimes sex gets pushed to the bottom of the list. While it's always a wonderful thing when it happens, kids, work, life, did I mention kids, can easily get in the way of making it happen. So, with that said, I am mandating Wednesdays Hump Days, when I will post about sex so it stays on the mind, and higher on the list, in Wifey's House and hopefully your house, too!

Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day, I offer you six reasons to have Valentine's Day sex with your husband. They are:
  1. Because you spent all morning curling, plucking, tweezing, waxing and shaving every single hair on your body.
  2. Because you haven't touched a carb in weeks so that you could look sexy in and out of that cute little black dress.

  3. Because you're paying your babysitter ruffly $10-15 per hour so you can go out and spend double the price on a regular meal at dinner because it's Valentine's Day. For all that money somethin' better be on and poppin'!

  4. Because maybe a wild night of passion might reignite your sex life for the rest of the year - or at least through the weekend.

  5. Because it's Valentine's Day, the one day a year that men are practically required to be lovey-dovey, super-romantic and shower you with love. Take advantage of it!

  6. Because without all of the reasons mentioned above, a loving gaze and a simple kiss from the man you married still makes you weak in the knees.

Enjoy & Smiles,


(Please note, this post was drafted on Tuesday, therefore says posted on Tuesday, but it's really Wednesday... no really, it's Wednesday... I'm not crazy, it's Wednesday!)