Thursday, March 20, 2008

Choosing to Bite Your Tongue

Every wife should learn the skill of biting her tongue. I say learn and skill on purpose because it is not normally the first reaction, and it can take time to really know when to do it.

Like when you are at the rental car place and the man is explaining the option of purchasing their insurance versus using your own policy and Husband looks at you matter-of-factly and says,

We can use our own; you’re not planning on getting into an accident anytime soon are you?

And I say,

Uh, no, but I wasn’t planning on a big ass tornado ripping through downtown and jacking up my car, either.

We went with our own insurance. Enough said.

The next day Husband and little boy are playing baseball in the front yard. Do I really have to tell you what happened next, except that my tongue nearly got bloody from biting it so hard? OK, I can admit my first impulse was to say a couple cuss words and let off a little steam, BUT, that is not what Husband, Miles or I needed. And, it definitely wouldn’t change the situation.

I’ve been consciously trying to be the best wife that I can be. It’s challenging to look at yourself first, see your own flaws and how you can make positive changes for yourself and your relationship. Part of that means supporting Husband, not bitching at him. We all make mistakes and have accidents. I happen to make them quite frequently. The last thing that I want when it happens to me is for Husband to rub it in, so I am extra conscious of biting my tongue when I really want to say, what the hell were you thinking?

Marriage is a partnership that should focus on lifting each other up and not kicking each other when we’re down. Husband has always been better about that than me. He might tease me about my mistakes but he never gets on me if I do something stupid like backing into my cousin’s car parked right behind me in my own driveway. He could’ve gotten angry that our insurance would probably go up because I simply didn’t look behind me, but he didn’t. He actually shook his head and laughed. I love that. And, I hope that he loves it when I laugh, too.

I’m a work in progress, but I can see a positive change in our relationship when I choose to bite my tongue. I encourage everyone to say nothing next time you really want to let him have it. If you’re feeling really daring, try laughing instead of crying and see how much better you and your husband will feel.

Quite Smiles,


Mycrazylife said...

I think that is excellent advice! I practice it a lot with my ...ex husband. No really I do.

I would've paid to have a man that would laugh off my mistakes, but I'm glad you have one!

Becoming Me said...

Another great post. Your honesty is so refreshing. We are all works in progress.

Wifey said...

Thanks for the kind words. Smiles!