Wednesday, March 11, 2009

An Open Letter to Girl Scout Cookie Pushers

Dear Cute Little Girl Scouts Who Live in My Neighborhood and Force Me to Buy Cookies:

Thank you for delivering the multitude of Girl Scout cookies that I ordered from everyone who knocked on my door because I don’t know how to say no; because I have kids of my own and pray that someone will buy some of their crap, too; and because I’m simply a sucker for cookies.



It was so thoughtful for you all to unload these boxes on me just as I started my food lockdown. I know that you think I’m an adult and can control myself and you’re right, ahem, I am. And, I did. I knew exactly how many scrumptious Samoas I sucked down and carefully counted out how many classic Thin Mints I consumed.

Please don’t feel guilty because I have less than two months to squeeze into a bikini on my 38th birthday and your delightful little smiles and cookies have thrown a big monkey wrench in my plan. It’s not like you don’t come knocking every year at the same time. I should know better. No, really I should.

The upside is this problem never lasts for long – because the cookies don’t. As quickly as they come in the door they get gobbled up just as fast. Thankfully, the three other occupants of Wifey’s House have no self-control either so I can easily blame them for eating them all.

I’d love to tell you that I’m through with your cookies and I won’t be ordering any next year but I’d be lying. When you ring the doorbell I’ll cave in, happily, just like I always do and might even order an extra box.

Thanks again for your prompt delivery, for increasing my workouts and for only selling your addictive little cookies once a year.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Wait! Ladies, have you ever missed your mother-in-law’s birthday? Are you the date keeper in your house? We’re dishing about that at Ask Wifey. I know you’ve got two cents … come throw it in.

10 comments:

Mrs Cooper said...

Do you think they put something in those cookies that make us so addicted to them?? I know I can empty an entire box in one sitting and then wonder why I didn't stop myself.

MOMSWEB said...

This was HILARIOUS. I read between the lines and imagined what you REALLY wanted to say and cracked up even more. Tooooo funny! I didn't purchase cookies this year, but I have a pound cake baking in the oven (smile).

Monkey Toe Momma said...

Sorry, my girls a cookie pushers. :) However, the people in our neighborhood are not as friendly, or as willing to support their local GS. Good for you! You'll be back on track in no time! :)

Wifey said...

Mrs Cooper - Yes! There's definitely something in those cookies.

MOMSWEB - Oh, the things that were going through my mind - smiles!

Monkey Toe Momma - I, too, was a cookie pusher a LONG time ago; and I'm glad to say I'm back on track. :)

Lindsey said...

Hahaha you crack me up! I have no self control when it comes to Girl Scout cookies, sushi, or cheese!

Jenni Jiggety said...

I have only 4 tagalongs left and I am already wishing I bought more...

joanofalltrades said...

Funny! This past weekend I almost crashed when I saw them selling at my local shopping center. I had been looking and looking and could find anyone selling gsc. There are no gs in my new neighborhood and my body started going threw withdrawal. It's like my body sensed that it was March and I was running out of time. Thank God I found some!

workout mommy said...

I have decided I'm going to pay them to NOT give me any of those damn cookies!

and they are everywhere these days, even outside of Best Buy.
STOP THE INSANITY!!!

I am weak.
I cannot resist the call of the thin mint!

mel said...

Imagine having 1,386 boxes of cookies in your living room and 3 cases of extras that you have to get rid of. If that's not a test of willpower I don't know what it. So goes the life of the Cookie Mom. I think the other mothers got together and said "not in my house" and I was the poor sap that didn't catch on. Oh well I will start over on Monday.....

The Butterfields said...

Ohhh.... the Thin Mints......