I’m reading this book called “The Secrets of Happily Married Women, How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less,” by Scott Haltzman, M.D. and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo.
I was sold after reading the title. Even though I know marriage takes work, I’m all for finding out how to work smarter, not harder. In the book, Dr. Haltzman shares secrets in several chapters including Know Your Husband, Fight Better, Talk Less and Have Lots of Sex. It took everything I had not to skip directly to that chapter, but I didn’t. I’ve read through most of the book (which has a lot of good advice) and just finished the sex chapter.
There’s too much in it to break everything down in just a couple of paragraphs, but one thing that he wrote definitely stands out. In it, he says that, “He Only Married You For The Sex.” Yup, he’s serious. My interpretation of what he is saying is that sexual passion and attraction trumps companionship and friendship. That sex is the “primary reason” you’re married and that it should be one of the most important aspects of your relationship. While I agree that it is one of the most important aspects of a relationship – especially to men; I’m not sure I’m on board with it being the main reason that a man marries a woman.
One of the examples he uses to illustrate his point is about companionship. He believes that you have companionship with friends and roommates, but no desire to marry them due to lack of sexual attraction. But, your husband chose you for the sexual attraction. Um, maybe it’s just me, but I thought that most men are attracted to almost any 38DD that bounces by them on the street. OK, I’m being a little facetious here, but men are attracted to women — especially beautiful, curvaceous, sexy women. As much as I would like to think that I am the only one that my husband could possibly find attractive, I do live in the real world and know that that is not the case. So, that leads me to think the opposite of the author’s theory. That yes, he is sexually attracted to me, but something about my companionship, about my friendship stands out. It’s special and it trumps his desire to have sex with all of those other beautiful, curvaceous, sexy women.
I definitely encourage you to check out the book and see what you think. I’ve got two more chapters to go until I get to the epilogue, When Mama’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy — I love that — and have found it to be an interesting and informative read. I enjoy reading about marriage and taking in different points of view.
So, how about you? Do you know why your husband married you? Was it for the fabulous sex you have, for your special friendship, or maybe you won him over with both. Inquiring minds want to know…