Do Something Different

Need I say more? OK, you know I can’t help myself.

It’s so easy to fall into familiar, monotonous routines – especially when you’re tired and overworked. Doing something different can be just the jolt you need to liven things up or enhance the excitement you already have in your sex life.

This Hump Day, step outside of your regular routine. Do something different. Be it drastic and daring or slow and subtle; make a change that both you and your husband can enjoy.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

This week Wifey tackles cleaning differences and makes reading suggestions in her Q&A column at AskWifey.com. While you're there feel free to weigh-in - leave a comment, ask a question and vote on the poll - its fun and easy!

Birthday Toy

“Never tell a man NOT to buy you a present.” That’s what my mother said to me after I shared with her that I told Husband not to buy me anything expensive this year for my birthday. Being the money maven that I am striving to be, I told him that he should stick to our budget and be practical this year. Thank God he doesn’t listen to me. Ha.

Husband has always been a fabulous gift giver – he always seems to get me exactly what I want – and normally doesn’t pay much attention to the price tag. While that’s wonderful at the time, it can give the finance keeper in the house, ahem, me, heart failure after the excitement of my birthday is gone. This year he was right on point again and got me one of those cute little iPod nanos that I’ve been wanting since Christmas. I love music and this is my first iPod, so I was really gassed to get it.

While I don’t think he broke the bank - I’m still basking in the joy of my B-day and haven’t looked yet - I’m sure he went a little over budget. I have a tendency to penny-pinch, especially when it comes to me, and I’m trying to loosen up just a little. Besides, the most important thing is not the cost of the gift, but the thought and love behind it.

I had such a wonderful birthday weekend, getting spoiled by my family and friends. I appreciate all of the love, laughter and tequila, gasp, and I’m looking forward to making 37 my best year yet!

So, I’m off to play with my new birthday toy – if I can figure it out – and avoid my bank account for just one more day…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Can Everyday Be My Birthday?

“Happy Birthday, Mama,” was the first thing little girl whispered when I woke her up this morning. Yes, my heart absolutely melted. Thank goodness we didn’t have a reenactment of last Monday morning. Husband and Miles were all smiles and kisses, too. Everyone cooperated and made getting off to school this morning really easy.

Can everyday be my birthday? A girl can try, right?

Well, maybe not, but today is and I’m going to enjoy it for as long as it lasts. I love birthdays – especially mine – and am looking forward to picking up the kids from school so they can be extra nice to me some more.

Seriously, I’m so blessed, happy and excited to be living my life and look forward to starting a new year. I’m thirty-seven today and really do feel like everything gets better with time. Yes, I want my twenty-one-year-old body and metabolism back, but other than that I’m looking ahead.

So, excuse me while I go bask in all of my glory until midnight when I turn back into regular ol’ Mom and the kids remind me that I have another whole year to wait until they behave for me again.

Winks & Birthday Smiles,
Wifey

The Cleaning Fairy

Friday’s confession…

There was a little part of me that really hoped if I put my Swiffer duster under my pillow last night that the cleaning fairy would come while I was sleeping.

Ha. A girl can dream can’t she?

It’s cleaning day at Wifey’s house and no matter how much I’d like to believe the house will miraculously clean itself, it’s time to roll up my sleeves and get started.

How about you? Has the cleaning fairy ever visited your house? If you see her please let her know I’ve got a big old jug of Simple Green with her name on it, waiting patiently for her.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sexy Splurge

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House and I’m continuing to keep the focus on you. Don’t worry, husbands are not being neglected – they’re sure to reap the benefits, too.

When was the last time you bought something sexy and special for yourself? It’s amazing how a little treat can boost your self-esteem — and your libido.

This week I urge you to splurge on something sexy for you. A pretty pair of panties, lacy lingerie, sensual body butter or maybe even a taboo toy. Gasp!

Treat yourself to something sexy and enjoy…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

This week Wifey tackles an e-mailing ex-girlfriend and a decorating dilemma in her Q&A column at AskWifey.com. While you're there feel free to weigh-in - leave a comment, ask a question and vote on the poll - its fun and easy!

Drama Queen

It’s Monday morning and Milan made sure I knew it. After mornings like this – filled with crying, whining, complaining and more drama than one little four year old should be able to dish out – I like to remember times like this…



… when all I can do is giggle at my little drama queen.

Happy Monday.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Team Mom Overboard

Friday’s confession …

I think I might being overboard with this whole Team Mom thing …



My new T-shirt to wear to the games…



The pin to go on the T-shirt to wear to the games …



And the keychain for the car key to drive us to the games…

I am officially a Suburban Mom. Go team go!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

It's All About You...

So often so much of our attention is given to pleasing our men. Even I have encouraged you to find out what he likes and have fun making some of it happen. Well this Hump Day, ladies, it’s all about you. Do you know what pleases you? And, have you shared it with your husband?

Do you like long, romantic evenings or quickies in the morning? Do you prefer a glistening chest, strong shoulders or rippling abs? Are you a lacy lingerie or thigh highs and heels kind of girl?

This week take some time to think about what turns you on then tell, or better yet, show your husband what’s pleasing to you.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

This week Wifey tackles managing Mother’s Day plans and wedding withdrawal in her Q&A column at AskWifey.com. While you're there feel free to weigh-in - leave a comment, ask a question and vote on the poll - its fun and easy!

Wifey's Renovations

The renovations at Wifey’s House are complete. Thanks to the fabulous Trendy Mommy Blog Designs and compliments of Un-domestic Mama – I won the blog makeover in her contest – Wifey’s House has a brand new look!

I’m loving it and think I might sit out on the front lawn and admire the view for a little while.

Big Smiles,
Wifey

Sweet Silence

Shh, do you hear that? Me neither. After three long, sometimes stressful, but fun weeks, spring break is finally over.

I love my family more than words can say — more than chocolate desserts, Caribbean vacations and thoughts of winning lotto. Now that’s love. Seriously, I wouldn’t trade them, or my life, for anything, but I have to admit it’s wonderful to have a moment to myself; to sit here on the couch and enjoy the sweet sound of silence.

Around 2:30 p.m. the silence will break and I’ll be happy to see my little girl smile and hear my big boy tell me about all the things he did in school today; but until then shh… I’m going to sit here for a moment and enjoy it. Sweet silence doesn’t visit Wifey’s House very often.

Happy Monday…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Superwifey - Armed with a Tool Belt and Girl Power

It’s so nice when your kids have your back.

“I think someone else should do it,” Miles told me last summer, when I said I couldn’t play with him because I had to take care of #98 on my To Do list. “Mommy does EVERYTHING.”

I normally don’t do everything – just mostly everything, but at that time Husband was battling a severe case of vertigo (an illness where your equilibrium leaves you unbalanced, your head spins, and you feel like you’ve had too many margaritas then jumped off a merry-go-round). He couldn’t do anything for more than three months, so guess who dusted off her Superwifey cape and strapped on her tool belt? That’s right – toot, toot – I did!

I was exhausted and frustrated, but also felt a strong sense of accomplishment. I found out that I could do many things that I normally didn’t have any desire to do — and even better, I was good at them. Mowing the lawn was a piece of cake, changing the light bulbs on the front porch was easy, taking the car to get the oil changed was no problem, and I even survived a trip to the barber shop so Miles could get his hair cut.

While it’s nice to have a partner so you don’t have to do everything yourself, sometimes it can leave you a little helpless. Taking out the trash, cleaning the garage and practicing football with the kids are all things that Husband normally does. And, thankfully he is recovered and able to do all of these things again. But for a short period of time it was nice to discover that I can do all these things – and do them well — when I need to.

I’ve packed away my Superwifey cape, but keep the tool belt with in arms reach. What about you? What can you do just as well as any man out there? The Parent Bloggers Network and the folks at Ask Patty want to know. Share your Superwifey story and some girl power; and you just might win the prize.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Good and Guilty

Friday’s confession…

I feel good — and guilty about it.

Why is that? I know why I feel good. I finally got that makeover Miles so honestly told me I needed; then had a small shopping spree and discovered I dropped a clothes size; my book and writing business are starting to bloom; and Husband and I have been playing tennis in the evenings while the kids run around on the playground. Nothing spectacular, just lots of little things that make me smile.

So why do I feel guilty about it? Maybe it’s the “Mother Martyr” syndrome. We are supposed to be the perfect and sacrificial ones at the same time. It’s almost like we are preprogrammed to put ourselves last, to look for faults and to be quiet about our joy like we don’t deserve it. Sure there are some negative things that I could confess this week – my vacuum has dust on it, I’m sleep deprived and a little snappy, and I need to better schedule my time — but, I’m also happy. Isn’t that what really matters?

So, come on ladies, go out on a limb with me. Tell me something good. Guilt free Moms want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

Sleep Struggles

Sleep. If anybody has some, I need it — for me and for Miles. We are nearing the end of spring break and are starting to slip back into our regular routines so that next week won’t be a mess. That includes Miles sleeping in his own bed in his own room. For the past several months sleeping at night has been a struggle for Miles. He gets scared and wants to sleep in Milan’s room. Milan on the other hand isn’t scared of squat, loves to sleep and only wants him in there when she feels like staying up to play. That’s my girl.

Anyway, Miles came out of his room more than ten times last night. He had to pee and poop at least five times. He was hot, he itched, and had a host of other problems that never surface in Milan’s room. Although, I am very sympathetic to how he feels – I was that child that got scared in the middle of the night and called my mother, too – I don’t want to enable his fears. We’ve been through long talks, sleeping with the lights on, and checking the closet and under the bed. Husband even gave him a little toy baseball bat to help him feel safe and none of it has really done the trick. He’s got to learn to trust that he is safe in his own bed and that mommy and daddy are here to protect him.

Miles is a smart one and I know he has a plan. See, he knows how much I love to get my sleep at night and figures if he disrupts me enough, I’ll give in and let him go back to Milan’s room. Not that that has ever happened before, ahem, but I’m sure he thinks it will work. Not this time. I really want to help my baby conquer his fear so I’m in this for the long haul – sleep or no sleep.

I’ve promised him that he can have his friend, Cameron, come for a sleepover, but he has to be able to sleep in his room by himself first. He’s really excited about it, so hopefully that will speed up the process. Until then, I’ll be sympathetically standing my ground for the greater good of a full night sleep. Suggestions and sob stories are always welcome…

Sleepy Winks,
Wifey

Marriage for Sex or Companionship?

I’m reading this book called “The Secrets of Happily Married Women, How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less,” by Scott Haltzman, M.D. and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo.

I was sold after reading the title. Even though I know marriage takes work, I’m all for finding out how to work smarter, not harder. In the book, Dr. Haltzman shares secrets in several chapters including Know Your Husband, Fight Better, Talk Less and Have Lots of Sex. It took everything I had not to skip directly to that chapter, but I didn’t. I’ve read through most of the book (which has a lot of good advice) and just finished the sex chapter.

There’s too much in it to break everything down in just a couple of paragraphs, but one thing that he wrote definitely stands out. In it, he says that, “He Only Married You For The Sex.” Yup, he’s serious. My interpretation of what he is saying is that sexual passion and attraction trumps companionship and friendship. That sex is the “primary reason” you’re married and that it should be one of the most important aspects of your relationship. While I agree that it is one of the most important aspects of a relationship – especially to men; I’m not sure I’m on board with it being the main reason that a man marries a woman.

One of the examples he uses to illustrate his point is about companionship. He believes that you have companionship with friends and roommates, but no desire to marry them due to lack of sexual attraction. But, your husband chose you for the sexual attraction. Um, maybe it’s just me, but I thought that most men are attracted to almost any 38DD that bounces by them on the street. OK, I’m being a little facetious here, but men are attracted to women — especially beautiful, curvaceous, sexy women. As much as I would like to think that I am the only one that my husband could possibly find attractive, I do live in the real world and know that that is not the case. So, that leads me to think the opposite of the author’s theory. That yes, he is sexually attracted to me, but something about my companionship, about my friendship stands out. It’s special and it trumps his desire to have sex with all of those other beautiful, curvaceous, sexy women.

I definitely encourage you to check out the book and see what you think. I’ve got two more chapters to go until I get to the epilogue, When Mama’s Happy, Everybody’s Happy — I love that — and have found it to be an interesting and informative read. I enjoy reading about marriage and taking in different points of view.

So, how about you? Do you know why your husband married you? Was it for the fabulous sex you have, for your special friendship, or maybe you won him over with both. Inquiring minds want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

Husband, Books and Margaritas

He’s so thoughtful. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it —“I’m not thoughtful, I don’t know what you’re talking about” — he really is. I’m talking about Husband, of course. Saturday night he surprised me by taking me out for dinner and drinks to celebrate some milestones with my book. He arranged for a sitter, invited my sister and her boyfriend, and picked this great little Mexican restaurant with the best raspberry margaritas I’ve ever had. I had no idea that any of this was happening until about 30 minutes before we were headed out.

Yeah, I think I’ll keep him.

What milestones were we celebrating? Glad you asked. The release date for my book, “Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage,” has been appropriately set for September 20, 2008 — Wife Appreciation Day. I also received a limited amount of special advance copies from the printer. In addition to using them for press and promotional purposes, I will have some available for sale through my website later this month.

Although it’s been a labor of love, a lot of hard work has gone into this book and it’s so rewarding to see it coming to fruition. It’s also wonderful how supportive and “thoughtful” Husband has through the entire process. Lord knows I’ve taken us through some stressful moments — we won’t go there — but Husband’s always helped to keep me on track. I appreciate his love, his encouragement, his belief in me, and his ability to find the best tequila in town. Here’s to many more thoughtful celebrations.

Warm Smiles,
Wifey

I've Been Memed!

Well, I figured if I waited long enough it was bound to happen – I’ve been tagged with my first meme. One of my favorite reads, the Restless Housewife, so graciously hit me up last night. Being that I love games, reading new blogs and am nosey as hell; I am more than happy to play along! She would like to know…

5 Classes I Wish They Would Have Taught In School

1. Surviving Motherhood — Mentally
2. Beating Cellulite, Belly Fat and Your Post-Baby Body
3. Marriage Misnomers – How to Live Together, Love Each Other and Like it
4. Managing Money – Making Your Money Grow for Young, Clueless Know-it-All’s
5. Reality Rescue – How to Temporarily Escape from the Madness of Your Day-to-Day Life

So, Un-domestic Mama, I-Mommy, I’ve Changed My Name to Mommy, Confessions from the Rubber Room and Becoming Me, what about you? I’m sure there are some classes they didn’t teach in school that would be really helpful right about now. Educated wives and mothers would love to know...

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Cooking With No Gas

Friday’s confession…

I have a problem with food. No, not eating it — I do that quite well, thank you — I have a problem with cooking it.

It’s not that I can’t cook or don’t like to cook, but quite honestly I’ve just been too busy to cook. After a full day of kids and work; my desire and energy level to prepare a fabulous meal is zero. I know this is what wives and mothers do all over the world and many of them have more on their plate than I do – no pun intended; but this past week has been filled with soup and sandwiches, and pizza. I did assemble the pizza crust, sauce and cheese — that counts for something, right?

I’m going to Whole Foods today to see if I can stock up on some simple, healthy dishes to make, so Husband and the kids can have some semblance of a home cooked meal. Husband’s really very patient and will fend for himself when I go on these little cooking strikes, but I know he really doesn’t like it. The longest one was when I was pregnant with Milan; I don’t think I made one meal. No, I am not pregnant, just busy.

How about you? Do you ever boycott the kitchen? Busy takeout-ordering moms want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

Mama Needs a Makeover

Is spring break ever going to end?

A few days ago I was watching The Today Show and they were doing mom makeovers, so my son tells me in that brutally honest, I mean straightforward and loving way that kids so naturally do, that I need a makeover, too.

“Oh, really. Thanks, Miles.”

"You’re welcome," he answers, smiling.

“Do I really look that bad?”

I know, I know, I may as well have taped a big red bull’s-eye to my forehead.

“Yeah, you do,” he says, still smiling.

Thank God I have a sense of humor. Before I could pick up my ego off the floor he adds…

“Oh, and I think you should be a little richer, too!”

Ha. At least he didn’t call me stupid.

Much to Miles’ dismay his broke, need-a-makeover-mama will have to wait until next Wednesday to get her highlights done. In the meantime, my blog and website are getting their makeovers. My site, AskWifey.com, just got freshened up with a bright new color scheme; and Wifey’s House is getting a new look designed by the fabulous Trendy Mommy Blog Designs, courtesy of one of my favorite reads, Un-domestic Mama. I entered her contest and won!

Take a trip over to AskWifey.com and let me know how you like it. I’ll keep you posted on Wifey’s House and my personal makeover. As for being a little richer, I’m with Miles on that one, and working on it, too!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Rekindling the Romance

Do you like a little romance in your sex life? Are you a flowers, wine-and-dine-me kind of girl? If so, are you waiting for your husband to set the scene and light the candles for you? Unless, you’re one of the few who married her very own Casanova (kudos to you), or are in the very beginning of your relationship – you might be waiting for a long time.

Most men like sex. Correction, most men love sex and don’t need a two-hour candlelit dinner gazing into your eyes to make it happen. They actually don’t need much at all – except you. It’s almost unfair, to both of you, to expect for him to take the lead in the romance department. As much as we would like them to, it’s just not how they think.

If you would like to enjoy a sensual night of soft music, red wine and chocolate covered strawberries with your husband, don’t wish for it or wait for him to surprise you – plan it yourself. No one knows what you like better than you. Put the kids to bed, light some candles and change into something sexy. I guarantee he’ll play along. Eventually, if you do this often enough, he’ll learn what you like and might even take a little more initiative since he knows where it will lead.

Don’t wait on your husband to rekindle the romance in your sex life, this week have fun planning a special night filled with all the romantic pleasures that you enjoy. Taking control of what you want can be exciting, sexy and adventurous.

Enjoy…

Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

That Crazy Lady in the Store

Have you ever seen that crazy lady in the store? You know the one whose kids are misbehaving and she is desperately trying to stay calm, cool and keep from unraveling while her kids are paying her absolutely no mind.

Well, yeah. Yesterday that crazy lady in the store was me. I was ordering t-shirts for Miles’ T-ball team parents when both Miles and Milan decided to get a little too silly. I told them to stop. They completely ignored me. I told them again. They acted like I wasn’t even there. In the meantime, the woman behind the counter kept trying to finish the order while giving me that look — you know the one that says, poor lady, she can’t handle her kids.

After quietly yelling at them to stop literally 10 times then explaining the definition of the word, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience, like I was watching that crazy lady in the store while wondering who are these kids and why the hell are they acting like this?

Most of the time, they behave. It may take three stops for them to actually do it, but I’m normally not that crazy lady in the store so when it happened I didn’t quite know what to do.

I’m glad to say we all survived. Husband says I’m way too lenient, and that I really need to turn into a crazy lady and scare the mess out of them so they’ll know never to do it again.

What about you? Have you ever been that crazy lady in the store, wondering who are these kids and how did we get here? What did you do? This crazy lady would love to know …

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey