I'm Late... But Passin' Out Bling

Friday’s confession…

I’m late. I have been tagged, awarded, and memed; and am just now posting about it. I’ve fallen in love with blogging and have truly met some incredible people doing it. I appreciate all you lovely ladies who gave me a shout, please know you are always welcome at Wifey’s House! I have two awards to pass out today and will tackle the memes next week.

Now here’s my attempt to give a little back…

The Restless Housewife and Monkey Toe Momma were sweet enough to give me the You Make My Day Award.



There weren’t any rules with that one so I’m combining it with this one…




The I Love Your Blog award was passed on to me from the wonderful Terri Rainer.

Here are the rules:
1. The winner can put the logo on their blog.
2. Link the person you received your award from.
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.
4. Put links of those blogs on yours.
5. Leave a message on the blogs you’ve nominated.

I am passing them both along to:

Mocha Momma
Caffeine Court
Enjoyceinglife
MoziEsme
The Dana Files
Immoral Matriarch
Workout Mommy!

While all of these blogs are uniquely different, they are each outstanding in their own right. Some of them I’ve just started reading, while some of them were my firsts in this wide, wild, world of blogging.

Kudos to you ladies for creating such fabulous blogs and thanks for doing what you do…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Feel the Music

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week Oprah’s got me again. For some reason her television show and magazine continue to feed me great material for Hump Day (thanks, Oprah … we should do lunch!).

I was flipping through the pages of the September issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, the shopping section to be specific - and had to stop and do a double take when I saw a picture that looked like this...



Now I’d like to think that I’m a smart girl, but I quickly shoved the magazine in Husband’s face to confirm that this was what I thought it was.

It’s called the OhMiBod. Yes, it’s a vibrator that plugs into your iPod, iPhone, or any other music player and vibrates to the rhythm of the music. Wow. This gives a whole new meaning to the saying "feel the music."


The magazine actually featured this one...



It's called the Naughtinano – don’t you just love the names? OhMiBod also makes several other musically inspired gadgets to choose from.

For all you music lovers out there, ahem, here’s the link.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

Do you remember that movie starring Lilly Tomlin? Uh oh, I’m dating myself with that one. Anyway, my height is not shrinking but I’m happy to say that my width is.

I’m in the home stretch of my Fifteen in Five plan and I’m determined to reach my goal. The numbers on the scale are still fluctuating, yikes!, but the numbers on my clothes don’t lie. I’ve dropped one, possibly two clothes sizes and actually enjoy looking in the mirror. Gasp!

I’ve got five more days to convince the scale to be my friend again, but I already feel like I won. I’ve stayed focused, displayed discipline and feel better than I have in a long time. I know that that is more important than what the scale tells me, but I’ve set this challenge so I’m putting my all into finishing it.

So, here’s to a week of great workouts, good healthy eating and falling numbers. Wish me luck…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I Suck

Friday’s confession…

I suck. I didn’t do my Friday’s confession. Oh wait, that is a confession. Let’s start over…

I suck.

Seriously, I’ve had an extremely productive work week which in turn has left me without my normal Friday’s confession. This is a good and bad thing. Work is good, no confession is bad.

Oh wait, I forgot… I did do a confession…I suck. See what too much work and lack of alcohol does…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

(No, I'm not catholic, every Friday at Wifey's House I confess something that probably shouldn't be said.)

Kiss and Tell

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. Last week I shared a few interesting facts about sex. One of them was the average person spends two weeks of their life kissing. It might sound like a lot but when you break it down it’s really not. Two weeks is 336 hours. There are 8,736 hours in one year. Let’s say you live 80 years, we’ll only count 60 since none of us were kissing anyone before we were twenty, right? Ahem, ahem. That’s 524,160 hours. A mere 336 hours doesn’t seem like much when you added it all up.

The point of that exercise was not to show off my math skills, or lack of if my numbers are wrong, it’s to bring to your attention how often you kiss your spouse. When is the last time you kissed your husband? I mean really kissed your husband. Not the quick peck goodbye kiss, but the I-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-of-you, we-just-started-dating kiss.

I know, nothing can really recreate that magical feeling you had when you first started dating, but there is something special about a long sensual kiss. It can make sparks fly when the flame is flickering and add an exciting boost to your relationship.

This week kiss your husband. Not just in the bedroom, but sometime that you both least expect it. Stop him when you pass him in the hallway, interrupt him when he’s checking his e-mail, or catch him during a commercial when you’re watching your favorite show. You don’t have to kiss and tell, kissing enthusiasts never do, but you do have to kiss him. After all, the hours are adding up.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Break Up to Make Up

That’s what the song says, but I prefer to stop all of the back and forth. We’re cool again – me and my former best friend. I still don’t trust her, she can be so sometimey, but she’s moving in the right direction again so I’ll keep her.

Seriously, it was good week for my Fifteen in Five plan. I stayed on track with my eating, haven’t touched a drink, gasp, and enjoyed my workouts – especially running. Oh, and I lost a couple of pounds, too. Ironically, I’m really not a numbers girl. I place more importance on how healthy I am, how I feel and how I look than on how much I weigh.

I decided to strive for a number to challenge myself so I would work harder and not settle for what so far has been relatively easy. Mediocrity and doing just enough to get by can be more damaging than you realize. Sometimes good isn’t good enough. Maybe I’m caught up in Olympic fever, watching the best in the world compete, but I’m itching to do more. I’ve got a little less than two weeks to make my goal and I definitely plan on doing it. That means it’s time to turn it up another notch, to break out of my comfort zone and to think about my personal gold medal waiting for me once I'm done.

Speaking of the best in the world, my grandmother celebrated her 85th birthday over the weekend. I could write for hours about all the joy she has brought to my life, but instead I’ll just share a picture from her birthday celebration and assure you there’s nothing mediocre about this woman.


My foxy G-Ma!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Tooth Fairy Fired Due to Budget Cuts

Friday’s confession…

I’m a little on the frugal side. I like to save money. I look for bargains or inexpensive brands… oh hell, I’m cheap! So, when my son woke up the other morning and told me that the tooth fairy left him $4 I knew he must’ve counted incorrectly.

Four dollars? WTF? That’s a gallon of gas.

Don’t get me wrong. My children are priceless, but come on, it’s a tooth. And it’s not in his mouth anymore.

So I had a little chat with the tooth fairy who thought that was a fair amount for the type of tooth that it was and it’s position in the mouth. Again, WTF? Clearly the tooth fairy is not in charge of the budget at Wifey’s House.

Is it just me or is $4 a lot? I remember getting change for my teeth. I know that was 30 years ago, ahem, but still. Please let me know if you think I should fire the tooth fairy or if I need to get second job to pay for all these teeth.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Sex Facts or Fiction

It’s Hump Day at Wifey’s House, the one day a week I dish about sex. This week I could use a little mindless humor. I stumbled across this website of interesting facts and thought that I’d share a few of the sex ones with you.

Sex is biochemically no different from eating large quantities of chocolate. Is that why I get so excited over a good piece of … chocolate?

Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds. No, really? I thought it was 5.

Each day, there are over 120 million sexual intercourse acts taking place all over the world. Wow. Imagine if all of the tired moms added to that number.

Sex burns 360 calories per hour! This is good to know for my Fifteen in Five plan.

Eight-five percent of men who die of heart attacks during intercourse are found to have been cheating on their wives. Can you say Karma?

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Hello, they lived in Bedrock…Yabba dabba doo!

25% of women think money makes a man sexier. No comment.

Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don’t. And I thought reading all of those self-help books was productive.

The average person spends 2 weeks of its life kissing. Hmm, I wonder how much of that leads to the 120 million sexual intercourse acts per day.

I’m not sure how many of these are facts or fiction. The site that I pulled them from listed no sources, but did include this on one of the lists:

60% of statistics are made up... Gasp! You mean eating large quantities of chocolate is not just like having sex? Damn.

This last one has nothing to do with sex, but I couldn’t resist…

In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions. I can vouch for this one myself.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Best Friends Forever?

Remember last week I introduced you to my new best friend? Well, we broke up this morning… right after I threw it out the window.

OK, I didn’t throw it out the window, but we really don’t like each other anymore. It’s not personal, we just don’t see eye to eye about all of the hard work that I put in last week on my Fifteen in Five plan, so, I’ve decide to move on.

Seriously, my numbers didn’t really move from last week which is fine because I’m still on track to meet my goal. I’m proud of the hard work and effort that I put in last week. I worked out hard, stayed away from my liquor cabinet, survived two business lunches (one at an Italian restaurant and one at a soul food joint), and made it through a day at Six Flags Over Georgia without eating a funnel cake.


Now that's will power. And yes, Husband and the kids did tear one apart right in front of me!

I feel like I’m getting stronger, mentally and physically, and my pants are feeling a little looser around my waist. So, the way I see it it’s fine to part ways with my new, ahem, former best friend… at least until next week when I find out if it’s decided to play nicely.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Dining After Dark

Friday’s confession…

I ate dinner last night at 10:08 p.m. Yikes! And, to make matters worse it wasn’t just salad or something light without carbs, gasp!, I had seared scallops with broccoli and wheat penne pasta tossed in oil olive, garlic and Italian seasoning… and it was good as hell.

Everything was healthy, but it was 10:20 p.m. by the time I finished scoffing it down. Not very conducive to my Fifteen in Five plan. And this wasn’t the only night this week I ate so late. Um, it’s actually the fifth. In my defense the other days I did eat only a bowl of soup or something really light. Miles had football practice every night this week (when in doubt blame the kids) and while I fed the kids early, before practice, Husband and I ended up eating after practice, bath and bedtime.

I know better, really I do, but those scallops screamed “Wifey” so loud last night I couldn’t resist. How about you? Does your schedule, ahem, children’s schedule ever cause you to put your needs on the back burner, literally, where you find yourself in front of a plate way past prime time? Late night diners want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Who Me? Nah, Really? Well, OK!

I had to read the comment twice when Jenny at Daily Dose of Motherhood let me know she honored me with the Arte Y Pico Award. I know, I know, it’s not a Grammy or good old Oscar, but it’s recognition for what I do and for me that feels just as good. So Jenny, I appreciate you and I will gladly pass the award on to five other deserving bloggers.



Here are the rules:


1) Choose 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award based on creativity, design, interesting material, and overall contribution to the blogger community, regardless of the language.
2) Post the name of the author and a link to his or her blog by so everyone can view it.
3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4) The award-winner and the presenter should post the link of the “Arte Y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) Please post these rules.

There are so many blogs that I would love to acknowledge, but I can only choose five, so here we go:

Monkey Toe Momma @ Donna Reed in Blue Jeans
Angela @ Becoming Me
Mozi Esme @ Mozi Esme
CP and Kim/2Kids @ 3 Giraffes
White Hot Magik @White Hot Magik

Ladies, get your acceptance speeches ready…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Erotica for Everyone?

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Front Seat Access

OK, is it me or does it seem like there are more children riding in the front seats of cars these days? I just got in from running, ahem, jogging, and saw a child that couldn’t have been more than 8 years old ride by in the front passenger seat of a car. And, yesterday when I picked the kids up from school, a little boy hopped in the front passenger side, too, and he didn’t look a day over 9. I even saw a little girl who looked like she might be 6, if that, slip into the front.

What’s with all of the front seat access? Did I miss some recall or change in the law that states kids are now safe in the front and that the airbags won’t kill them anymore? I’m not passing judgment, really, I’m not, I just hate to see kids put in dangerous situations, especially when they don’t have to be. All the cars had huge, empty back seats. Really they did, I looked.

I also looked at this…

The front flip sun visor in my SUV.

Is it just me? I’m not a neurotic, strict-rule abiding parent by any means, but come on…who really wants the little jokers (and all of their toys) in the front seat with them anyway?

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

People Let Me Tell You ‘Bout My Best Friend

The scale – it can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I am totally diggin’ the scale today and would carry around my new best friend with me everywhere I go if I could.

One week has passed in my Fifteen in Five get right plan, and my Monday morning weigh-in was excellent. I lost 5.5 pounds. It’s exciting, rewarding and extremely motivating for me to keep on going. While I know that progress is not always reflected on the scale, you can have a very productive week without seeing the numbers move; it still feels fabulous when they do!

My girlfriend also had a great week. We’re having a good time encouraging each other to do our workouts, to stay on track with our meals and to skip the beloved glass of Merlot. Yeah. We talked a lot on Saturday night when that bottle came a callin’.


My new best friend


My old best friend (don’t worry, we’ll meet again soon)

I’m looking forward to week number two. I’m feeling stronger, I have more energy and I’m planning a big ass shopping spree for when I’m done!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

I'm a Crust Cutter... and I'm Proud

Friday’s confession…

OK folks, brace yourselves, this is a big one. I, um… cut the crust off of my kids’ sandwiches. Gasp!

I know, I know. What kind of mother am I, right? Catering to their every whim. It’s just that I don’t particularly like the crust on my sandwiches either, but I’m a grown up now so chopping the ends off of my bread seems a bit, well, childish. So, I eat mine – sometimes – and cut theirs off since I know they don’t like it.

While I’m telling on myself, I might as well admit that I don’t make them eat things that they don’t like either. Gasp! Gasp! OK, please don’t take my Mom Card – I didn’t say that I don’t make them eat; I make them try things, but if they truly don’t like them then I don’t force them to eat it.

That’s probably because I remember sitting at the kitchen table for what seems like hours with a plate of cold lima beans and chicken livers in front of me that I was told I had to eat before I could get up. Yuck.

There are many things that my parents did that I swore I would never do and of course I find myself doing most of them. But, this is not one of them. I kept my promise and am not sad to say that a chicken liver has never graced my kitchen table.

Thank goodness for my parents, my mother-in-law and my husband because they expose the kids to foods that I don’t particularly like. I do my best to use my poker face and let them form their own opinions, but I’m quick to come to their rescue if they sit down with a big old bowl of Brussels sprouts and find out their little tastebuds don’t quite like them.

How about you? Are you a crust cutter or food forcer? Finicky-eating moms want to know…

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey