Chef Miles

See what happens when I don’t keep my schedule …



Miles’ Magnificent Mud Pie Soup chock-full of Spider-man and rubber snakes.

At least he was outside.

Happy Monday…

Smiles,
Wifey

The Truth About Motherhood - Girlfriend Style

When I was thinking about getting pregnant, I bought and read almost every book ever written about pregnancy and what to do once the baby comes out! Quietly, that was my real fear. I know many women who were scared of actually delivering the baby. Not me. My fear was about what to do when the little thing comes out – and I actually have to take it home with me.

So, I read, and read, and read. And, most of it was very helpful. But, there were certain things that even though you read them, right there on the page in black and white, they still didn’t quite sink in. You needed to hear the words, preferably from a sympathetic girlfriend who’s been there before. Things like:

You sex drive might be low immediately after childbirth. Girlfriend translation: You’re not crazy because you’ve been cleared by your doctor at your six week check up to have sex again, but your body still looks and feels pregnant, so sex the thought of sex, well, it isn’t even a thought …

Or,

Potty training takes patience. Girlfriend translation: Pee is way easier than poop and one day, I promise, your child will stop pooping on himself in a corner and discover that the toilet is a much easier and less messy place for everyone.

Sometimes girlfriends just a have a special way of breaking things down so that you don’t!

What did your girlfriends hip you to? The Parent Bloggers Network is collaborating with Discovery Health to introduce their new docu-drama “Deliver Me,” and would love hear your truth about motherhood. Share your story and some girlfriend wisdom; and you just might win the prize.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Spring Break Schedule

Friday’s confession …

Miles is home for three weeks on spring break. Yes, I said three weeks. He attends a charter school that has a balanced, year-round calendar. So, being the diligent mother that I am, I planned a schedule to keep a routine, and his mind, flowing smoothly.

Well, it’s Friday and we have yet to follow it once. Ha! But, I did buy his CRTC practice test workbook to help prepare him for his upcoming standardized tests. He’s worked in it everyday and is doing quite well. That was, ahem, a part of the schedule.

What about you? Do make and follow schedules? Noncompliant moms want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

A Husband's Last Wish

A little mindless Hump Day humor…

A man went for a check up and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He went home to tell his wife. After they both had a long cry, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.

"Of course, darling!" she replied.

And so they had sex. Four hours later they were lying in bed and he turned to her again, and said, "You know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?"

Again she responded very sympathetically and agreed to have sex. Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. He tapped her on the shoulder and asked her again, "You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about we do it again for old time sake?"

She was starting to get a little annoyed, but reluctantly agreed. After they finished, she went back to sleep and 4 hours later, he tapped her on the shoulder again and said, "Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?"

This time she turns to him and says, "You know, YOU don't have to get up in the morning... but I do!"

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

A Little Dirt Never Hurt Anybody...

This is why I love The Today Show; they continually have experts on that validate all of my flaws. First, Momnesia now this. I just saw a segment that said we could actually be damaging our immune systems if everything is too clean; that a spotless, germ free house is not good for children; and that our bodies learn how to defend against certain germs.

I don’t know what else they said; I was too busy doing the happy dance all over my dirty kitchen floor.

Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

Merry Easter

Things started moving early at Wifey’s House yesterday morning. For the first time we woke up before the crack of dawn to attend Easter Sunrise Service. I figure after all that Jesus has done for us, the least we could do is set our alarm clocks a couple hours earlier. I’m glad we did. It was a beautiful service complete with a candlelit march into the sanctuary, the sun rising just as it was time for communion, and a shrimp and grits breakfast immediately after - yum.

After the service, Husband banked several cool points by letting me sleep for three hours before we headed to my mother’s for Easter dinner. Yeah, he’s a keeper.

Dinner was fabulous – Leg of lamb, ham, macaroni and cheese, peas and rice, asparagus, greens, coleslaw, rolls, and chocolate brownie pie and homemade cheesecake for dessert. Apparently, somebody forgot to tell my mother that we were celebrating the day Jesus had risen not the day he was born, because she clearly thought it was Christmas. Between the food and the presents – yes, I said presents — it truly felt and looked like Christmas to me.

After the Easter Bunny visiting my house, my mother-in-law, my sister, and Mrs. Claus, I mean my mother; I was loading shopping bags full of presents and candy into my car when it was time to leave. Hand-held video games, stuffed animals, sunglasses, candy, action figures, hair bows, you name it the kids got it.

Some of the goodies...

The happy recipients ...

By the time I left I was wishing everyone Merry Easter. I’m poking fun but truthfully, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for Easter – the reason we were celebrating; for such a loving family to celebrate with and that my children bring so much joy to all of them. I can’t think of a better day to celebrate and be grateful. I hope that you had a Merry Easter, too.

Warm Smiles,
Wifey

Piano Lessons

Friday’s confession…

Miles started taking piano lessons. I want him to do more than play sports. I want him to be a well-rounded young man … and … I want to learn how to play the piano, too.

I am not one of those mothers who makes her children do things that they never got to do or who lives out her own dreams thru her children, really, I’m not … but … I really want to learn how to play the piano, too.

I promise if he doesn’t like it after he’s tried for awhile I won’t make him continue. I always have his little sister.

Ha.

What about you? What does your child do that you would like to do, too? I can’t be the only one…

Smiles,
Wifey

Choosing to Bite Your Tongue

Every wife should learn the skill of biting her tongue. I say learn and skill on purpose because it is not normally the first reaction, and it can take time to really know when to do it.

Like when you are at the rental car place and the man is explaining the option of purchasing their insurance versus using your own policy and Husband looks at you matter-of-factly and says,

We can use our own; you’re not planning on getting into an accident anytime soon are you?

And I say,

Uh, no, but I wasn’t planning on a big ass tornado ripping through downtown and jacking up my car, either.

We went with our own insurance. Enough said.

The next day Husband and little boy are playing baseball in the front yard. Do I really have to tell you what happened next, except that my tongue nearly got bloody from biting it so hard? OK, I can admit my first impulse was to say a couple cuss words and let off a little steam, BUT, that is not what Husband, Miles or I needed. And, it definitely wouldn’t change the situation.

I’ve been consciously trying to be the best wife that I can be. It’s challenging to look at yourself first, see your own flaws and how you can make positive changes for yourself and your relationship. Part of that means supporting Husband, not bitching at him. We all make mistakes and have accidents. I happen to make them quite frequently. The last thing that I want when it happens to me is for Husband to rub it in, so I am extra conscious of biting my tongue when I really want to say, what the hell were you thinking?

Marriage is a partnership that should focus on lifting each other up and not kicking each other when we’re down. Husband has always been better about that than me. He might tease me about my mistakes but he never gets on me if I do something stupid like backing into my cousin’s car parked right behind me in my own driveway. He could’ve gotten angry that our insurance would probably go up because I simply didn’t look behind me, but he didn’t. He actually shook his head and laughed. I love that. And, I hope that he loves it when I laugh, too.

I’m a work in progress, but I can see a positive change in our relationship when I choose to bite my tongue. I encourage everyone to say nothing next time you really want to let him have it. If you’re feeling really daring, try laughing instead of crying and see how much better you and your husband will feel.

Quite Smiles,
Wifey

Research, Record and React

Do you know what your husband likes? Yes, I’m talking about sex. And, which way he likes it? This Hump Day I’ve got a little assignment for you. It’s time to take action. Research, record and react. In other words, find out what your husband likes, remember it then make it happen.

Does your husband prefer…

Lights on or off?
Morning or night?
Quiet or loud?
Top or bottom?
Fast or slow?
Breast or thighs? (I’m not talking chicken here, ladies)
Negligee or nothing?

I think you get the point. Ask him these questions and anything else you might want to know. Send him a sexy text, or better yet, give him some options next time you two have a moment alone.

I know this week it’s all about him. Of course your likes are important, too, but sometimes it can be just as exciting to please your partner. I’m a big believer that if you give, you will receive in return – fortunately that works in the bedroom, too.

So, research, record and react; and most importantly… have some fun!

Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

This week Wifey tackles the need for a new look and missing in-laws' birthdays in her Q&A column at AskWifey.com. While you're there, feel free to weigh-in - leave a comment, ask a question and vote on the poll - it's fun and easy!

The Party's Over

I was late joining the party and now I’m late wrapping it up. I’m talking about The Ultimate Blog Party, of course. I had such a great time visiting, discovering and reading so many wonderful, informative and funny new blogs. It’s nice to connect with other moms who travel down the same crazy path as I do; and it’s also nice to find some that don’t. There’s a comfort knowing that I’m not alone, while other perspectives can bring a great sense of balance.

Even though the party’s over, I still plan on checking out some of the many sites I just didn’t have time to visit. Some of my favorites that I’m regularly reading include, To Love, Honor and Vacuum, I’ve Changed My Name to Mommy, The Restless Housewife, and I-Mommy, whose blog invited me to dust off my party dress and join the fun.

I am happy to announce the winner of my new book, Help! I’m a Newlywed…What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage is I’ve Changed My Name to Mommy. Congratulations and enjoy!

Maybe I just don't know when it's time to go home, but I say we keep the party going - or better yet, keep the babysitter, grab a nap and start all over tomorrow!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Date Night - Husband, Basketball and a Tornado?

So, Husband and I went out Friday night. We like to spend time without the kids to keep our relationship exciting. Someone had given us Atlanta Hawks tickets. The Hawks play at Phillips Arena… which is connected to the CNN Center… in downtown Atlanta … where a tornado decided to rip through the city… when we were there. We like to keep things exciting, but that was a bit much.

Surreal is more like it. We decided to leave the game with six minutes left in the 4th quarter. The Hawks were killing the Los Angeles Clippers (Go Hawks!) so we met up with Husband’s co-workers who rode with us to the game. As we were walking through the CNN Center about to head outside we saw people running. As cliché as it sounds, we started running, too. We headed toward the doors to get away from the commotion when we were stopped and told not to go outside. We looked up and saw thick, dense wind and rain swirling outside; we slowly backed away from the glass doors and heard the classic tornado rumbling. It really does sound like a train. The building shook. Rain was dripping from the ceiling of the food court in the CNN Center and insulation was floating through the air.

All I could think about was the building collapsing so we headed outside as soon as they allowed us out of the building. Immediately we saw the wreckage. It was unbelievable. Metal twisted, poles fallen, street lights dismantled, trees on cars, windows blown out. The tornado came in quick, did its damage and in an instant it was gone. Absolutely amazing. What’s even more amazing is that no one was killed. The SEC basketball tournament was happening in the Georgia Dome next to Phillips Arena. There were so many people in the Dome and Phillips Arena alone that the storm could have wiped out thousands in an instant.



I pulled this picture off of CNN.com.



Yup, that’s our car. I’m thankful that’s all that happened. People were injured, homes were destroyed, businesses damaged … in the whole scheme of things two windows are not that bad — especially after the second round of tornados came through the area on Saturday when at least two people lost their lives.

When we got home Auntie and Boyfriend (my sister and her boyfriend) had the kids downstairs. Miles was knocked out on the couch, but little girl was awake and smiling when I walked through the door. I’ve never been happier to see that little face. So, happy I let her stay up and play on the couch until past midnight when I was ready to go to sleep.

Sometimes God sends a little excitement our way to keep us on our toes. I love my family and all the blessings that I am so fortunate to have. I’m grateful, excited, on my toes, and plan on watching the next game from home!

Thankful Smiles,
Wifey

Airing My CLEAN Laundry

Friday’s confession … I HATE folding clothes. I will keep that washing machine going until there is nothing left to wash, but for some strange reason I am allergic to folding clothes.

Yes, they are all clean and will be folded and put away by the time you leave me a comment to tell me what chore you can’t stand to do, too!

Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

Miscarriage Manners and Fallen Stars

Although blogging is pretty new to me, I have been writing for years — first in my former life, before kids, as an entertainment publicist, then as an author and freelance magazine writer. As much as I have fallen in love with the blogosphere – it can be very addictive – I still enjoy curling up on the couch or sitting on the throne, ahem, with a good magazine.

I currently have two articles on newsstands now. You can’t read them on the web, but in case you’re interested and still like to physically flip through pages I thought I’d share.


The first one is in the February/March issue of Heart & Soul magazine. It’s called “Miscarriage Manners” and gives advice on how to respond when your sister, girlfriend, co-workers, etc. suffer from miscarriage. Yes, it stems from personal experience and being flabbergasted at the stupid shit, I mean inappropriate responses that some people give when they think you might be pregnant or have suffered a miscarriage.

The second one is in the March issue of Upscale magazine. This one also stems from personal experience. It’s a parenting feature titled “Fallen Stars – With Young Stars Constantly Getting into Adult Dilemmas and Popular Athletes Incurring Trouble with the Law, Are Celebrities the Best Role Models for Our Children?” Living in the metropolitan Atlanta area it was really sticky when Michael Vick took an overdose of stupid pills and washed his career down the drain – can you tell I’m a little disappointed in him? Anyway, I had to explain all of this to my son and decide if he could keep his favorite Michael Vick jersey. I decided to get some input from some experts and put in an article.

I like to write about real issues that happen to real people. Has anyone had to deal with someone one lacking in the etiquette department after a miscarriage? Or, explain to their child why Brittney Spears in off her rocker and her little sister is pregnant at 16? Do share. Mystified moms want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

Getting Your Sexy Back

I was watching The Today Show yesterday and saw a segment about getting your sexy back. Yes, I am a Today Show junkie, and will often comment on their comments. Anyway, the story had several great pieces of advice but one thing stuck out to me. They suggested to “dust off your appearance” and put a little more effort into the way you look.

I couldn’t agree more. Some of us are already “fashionistas” and keep everything looking tight, right and perfectly in place. But, I think it’s safe to say that many of us might fall victim to the ever frequent ponytail, T-shirt and sweatpants routine. It’s not that we don’t care about our appearance, but time is not always on our side. Sometimes a shower feels like a special treat. Perhaps if we carve out a few extra minutes to take some time for ourselves, gasp, we just might get our sexy back.

Let’s be real, most of our husbands would have sex with us if we went to bed wearing a burlap sack, a mud mask and a head full of curlers, but think about how much more exciting it would be if you lost the granny panties, put on a thong and got your swagger back.

Letting your hair down, putting on a sexy top and a little bit of lip gloss can easily boost your self-esteem and your sex life. It’s so easy to get comfortable and complacent in marriage. Yes, you’ve got him, but if you want to keep him happy and interested you’ve got to keep you happy and interested, too.

This week find the extra fifteen minutes to spruce yourself up. Loose the sweatpants and pull on the sexy form fitting jeans. Feel good about you and have fun while both you and your husband reap the benefits!

Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

This week Wifey tackles differences in financial spending and introducing the in-laws in her Q&A column at AskWifey.com. While you're there, feel free to weigh-in - leave a comment, ask a question and vote on the poll - it's fun and easy!

The Ultimate Blog Party!

I love a great party, so when I came across The Ultimate Blog Party I had to dust off my cute little party dress and join the fun.

A little about me …

I’m a wife, mother, freelance writer, music lover, tennis player, chocolate connoisseur, NBA fanatic, blah, blah, blah. Husband and I have been happily married for almost nine years and have two wonderful children – Miles, 6, and Milan, 4 going on 14. My life-changing wedding was featured on The Learning Channel’s popular television show “A Wedding Story.”

In my previous life, before kids, I was an entertainment publicist for a popular record company. I happily left the jet-set life of catering to superstars so that I could stay at home and cater to my own little superstars. In addition to freelance writing, I recently wrote a book, Help! I'm a Newlywed… What Do I Do Now? Wife-Saving Advice Every New Bride Must Know to Survive the First Year of Marriage. Special advance copies will be available in April 2008. I also recently launched AskWifey.com. The site offers wives and mothers straight-forward, practical advice to help make managing marriage and motherhood easier; and features my weekly Ask Wifey column.

At Wifey’s House I pretty much blog about marriage and motherhood. I think marriage too often takes a backseat to motherhood so I will often bring it to the forefront. Every Wednesday at Wifey’s House is Hump Day when I post something about sex. We wives and mothers are so busy that our sex lives often suffer the most. Hump Day is intended to put a little spark into our week and hopefully keep the fire burning. On Fridays I normally confess something. I don’t know why I feel the need to tell on myself, I guess a little confession is good for the soul. Other days are a free-for-all peek into Wifey’s House. Please do come back and visit. I love company and would love to check out your house, too!

My prize picks are:

#91, Burts Bees Naturally Ageless Skin Care Line provided by Geggie at So, What Else? What Else? What Else?

And …

#117, $25 gift certificate to Target offered by Mommy Bytes (I live in Target!)

Oh, I almost forgot. I am offering a signed special advance copy of my new book as a prize, too, so make sure to come join the fun!

Happy partying…

Smiles,
Wifey

Update - I just got word that due to an overwhelming response the prize donation list is closed. I will still gladly give the book away, just leave me a comment before the end of the day Friday, March 14, midnight PST, and you will automatically qualify to win.

Proofs Positive

I hate that I am posting so late today, but I’m thrilled at the reason why. I just finished shipping the approved proofs for my book back to the printer! Proofs are like the final draft of what the book will look like before they print them all.



My approved book cover.

Today has been a busy, productive day; and it’s not about to slow down now. I just wanted to share my excitement that I am in the final stages of having my book printed, in my hand and ready to share with the rest of the world.

Big Smiles,
Wifey

Flashbacks

There are so many things that my children do that make me flashback to my childhood. Sometimes I have to stop myself and remember I’m the parent, not the kid anymore. The Parent Bloggers Network’s Blog Blast today is teaming up with Highlights Magazine and their new publication High Five inviting people to reminisce about the things they loved to do as a child that they do now with their own kids.

Wow, my list could go on and on. Everything from reading my favorite childhood books – Are You My Mother? and of course the classic Green Eggs and Ham – to playing outside with my cousins at family get-togethers. Watching my kids run around with their kids, playing some of the same outdoor games we used to – freeze tag, hide and seek – is simply amazing to me.

But if I had to pick one thing that stands out the most for each child it’s Milan taking ballet and Miles playing basketball. Both of these are things that I enjoyed doing as a child and I get such joy out of watching my children do the same. The little bashful smile that graces Milan’s face as she awkwardly tries to do every move perfectly and the proud look Miles’ shoots me when he plays great defense or gets a rebound are priceless. I remember being in their shoes like it was yesterday and can’t believe that I am watching my children do the same.

What precious memories do you share with your children? Flashback with The Parent Bloggers Network and you just might win a free subscription to Highlights or High Five; or at least gain a new appreciation for time spent with your little ones.

Reminiscent Smiles,
Wifey

Momnesia

I confess, I can’t remember shit. Names, the reason I rushed out the house to the grocery store, the entire week after my 21st birthday – all a wash. OK, I’m exaggerating a bit, but my memory is definitely not my greatest strength. I wasn’t quite sure if it was the birth of my two precious babies or all the fun I had in college until I saw the segment on Momnesia on The Today Show yesterday. Now I know. It was definitely the babies. And, I must say it felt good to know I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crazy, either. To hear a doctor confirm that your brain turns to mush after the birth of a child was enlightening and strangely exhilarating. OK, that’s not quite what she said, it was more like...

“the condition is brought on by the wildly fluctuating flood of hormones that accompanies pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding. ‘It alters brain chemistry,’ Dr. Louann Brizendine said. ‘All these hormones are in a stew in the brain that are changing the way a mother focuses.’”

Like I said, brain to mush. And now that I have it scientifically backed by a doctor, poor Husband, I will be milking this one until … until … hmm … damn, I can’t remember!

Do you have Momnesia? Forgetful minds want to know…

Smiles,
Wifey

Sex, Edge and a Little Surprise

Many of you were surprised last week when I said that exercise is the sexiest thing that you can do for your husband. I think a few of you might have been expecting something a little more, ahem, edgy. So, this week I’ve got a little surprise and edge for you.

Her name is Sue Johanson. For those of you who have never seen her, Sue is a sex educator, counselor and host of "Talk Sex with Sue Johanson" on Oxygen TV. The surprise is she looks like she could be your grandmother, she probably knows more about sex than all of us combined, and she’s edgy as hell.



No, I’m not kidding you.

Here’s a link to Sue’s site. It’s filled with everything you need to spice up your sex life and is guaranteed to make you giggle, too.

Enjoy, Smiles & Winks,
Wifey

TV Tuesday

Well, actually TV Sunday and Monday. Did anyone else watch the premiere of The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom on TLC last night? I confess, I watched. All the promos looked great and sucked me in. Unfortunately, the promos were a little better than the show. The idea is fabulous, but some of the elements of the show were a little, umm how should I say it, cheesy. For example the show arranged for a stay at home mom a.k.a. "soccer mom" who dreamt of becoming a fashion designer before kids to work with a well known fashion designer for a week. The first day when the soccer mom was out of the house the show had two women dressed in black, like secret agents doing the mom’s housework and cooking dinner so she could come home and her family wouldn’t know she was gone. It’s sort of like a spy theme. Ooh. Despite the thick layer of cheese, I did like the show and will probably watch it again. The idea of giving someone an opportunity to try something they love is inspiring.

Speaking of giving, opportunity and inspiring… how about Oprah’s Big Give on Sunday night? Now that, I thought was great! Fun, inspiring, emotional and uplifting - what else would you expect from Oprah? That’s already been set to record as a weekly series on my DVR.

I would be remiss (since I wrote a Newlywed book) if I didn’t mention Here Comes the Newlyweds on ABC right after the Big Give. It was light and fun which was much needed after watching the Big Give’s heart-tugging stories. The show follows the traditional reality show format. There are seven newlywed couples who go through challenges, play for immunity and eventually vote each other off. The couples are some interesting characters, especially Ken and Barbie, I mean Dawn and Cody. I can’t really explain it; you definitely have to see them to believe them. The show has some potential, definitely worth a watch if you’re a newlywed, bride-to-be or simply a reality show junkie.

Happy Watching & Smiles,
Wifey

I Survived!

Whew! I survived Opening Day at the park where Miles’ plays T-Ball. I was ready for a margarita by 2 p.m., but I survived.

The day actually started the night before when we spent about two hours at the park delivering sodas, cakes, sponsorship money and waivers. Husband had Miles in the batter’s box practicing while Milan and I took care of Team Mom and Team Sister responsibilities. Yes, she has declared herself the Team Sister.

The next morning we had to be at the parade site at 7:30 a.m. to decorate the truck and hand out team jerseys. The parade and opening ceremonies went well, and afterwards the kids had a good hour to play on the inflatable bouncers and slides before it was time for Miles’ game.

We won the game, but can I just tell you it was comedy. If you are ever depressed or unhappy go to a T-Ball game and you will laugh – a lot! Many of the kids haven’t played before so they really don’t know what they are doing yet, but they are just as happy and proud to be out there running around – even if it is to the wrong base.

Miles’ did well. He is one of the oldest on the team and has played before. He hit two triples and played well in the outfield. I was really proud - and happy - when it was over.

Despite all of my griping about being Team Mom, quietly I’m enjoying it. Shh, don’t tell anybody, I will totally deny it. When I see my baby and all of the other kids out there learning, growing and having fun – it warms my heart.

Look at my little superstar…




How could I not step up to the plate with him?

Now, that’s not to say that I will be running for Team Mom of the Year, but I will do my best to make it a great season for Miles’ and his team – even if that means keeping up with 12 little guys – and their parents, learning how to keep the scorebook, or stepping in for the snack mom if she forgets to bring them.

Batter up & Smiles,
Wifey